Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Busy busy busy

The holidays went by as quickly as it came. It was a much needed break and I enjoyed most of it, though I was starting to crave being busy again.

I started the first week of my holidays by spending most of it at uni preparing for the competition. I actually was glad about it and the competition went well (as you may have read in the previous post). The remainder of the holidays I spent mainly chilling out with friends. I had some over for dinner and really had a blast. Some of those invited I hadn't had to opportunity to spend time with before and it truly was a blessed time together.

But the highlight of the holidays was that I had my first experience black water rafting. It was a blast!!! Thanx to Joanne and Josh for the invite and thanx to Olivia for the company too...I would do it again in a heart beat!

Mostly the holidays was spent house sitting as my parents were away and really, so was my brother; I hardly saw him! I really appreciated the time by myself and the space, too. I managed to catch up on a lot of sleep and hopefully made a small dent in the rather significant sleep debt I have accumulated over the past 6 months. All in all, it was holidays that I welcomed.

Yesterday was back to uni...I was looking forward to going back and am still glad to be back. However, ask me about the workload and you may get a very different answer. I'm most certainly right back into the busy mode-I was on the go the minute I got out of bed at 5.30am til I went to bed at 11pm. And today will not be any different! Oh, the joys...

At the present moment, the prospect if me finishing this course and not going back to AUT next year is a scary thought. So what is it that is giving me shivers down my spine?

• The workload involved between now and the end of the year. I always knew that this last semester would be beyond insane but it still scares me and I am always wondering how I am ever going to be able to get through.
• The thought that I will no longer have the safety and comfort of being allowed to make mistakes. I don’t handle making mistakes well and it is especially stressful doing so when you are out in the industry as mistakes=loss of profit. And you end up with the boss riding your rear end… :S
• The fear of the unknown. It just means I’m closer to heading back into the world of uncertainty. What will I do? Where will I work? How long will I work for someone before I start my own place, if I ever start my own place? Will I remain in NZ or will I head back to Melb? Will I end up in Melb at all? Do I move out of home or do I continue to reap the benefits of living at home?

Questions, questions, questions… I guess I’ve had the security of knowing what the last 2 years involved when I enrolled for this course and that was a definite comfort. But now…

I think most of all, I really want to be happy with what God's plans are for me. I know I may not have always been contented with what is but rather questioned why it hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to. Yet, I have been proven to that He knows best time and time again. I guess it was very timely that at home group last nite we talked about waiting on God and prayers answered/unanswered on His time.

Now, more than ever before I sense God's desire for me to just be contented with the path He is currently paving for me.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

You blog?!?!?! Yea!

Anonymous said...

Oh Jeannie! You know the answer! Come to good ol' Melbourne and be a chef here! That's before you become head of catering for my film company of course..... See ya soon!

Alice