4 weeks down, 1 more to go

Well, well, well...I can't believe it's been a motnh since I left Auckland for my holiday. Since then I've been in 3 cities (1 new city and 2 others I've been to), travel many miles, hopped on and off the plane too many times to count and eaten WAY too much.

It has been a good month and it was definitely a much needed holiday. I needed to go away and gain some perspective on things in my life. I just needed space, clearity of mind. Last year, I fell victim to a build up (over a few years) of doing too much, expecting too much and giving back too little to myself.

I started to lose interest in a lot of what I was doing. The area that suffered most was ministry. There was no more hunger, passion and love in what I did/gave. I hated that feeling and by trying to make up for the lack of everything, I pushed myself harder in other areas (work, uni) to try and find this hunger, passion, drive and love again. Even though I really enjoyed uni and competition season last year and found a job that I now love, it did more harm then good at the time. I was a tap whose reserves were running out and instead of turning the tap off to let the reserve refill, I kept draining it.

I had nothing left to give to anyone, esp myself, by the year's end...

So with 1 more week left of my holiday to go, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things again. I already have a list of things (that started even before I left for my holiday!!!) that need to be attended to the minute I arrive home. However, it will require a lot of smart planning so as to not end up in the same position again.

I had a hard year and instead of leaning on God, trusting Him and listening to what He was trying to say to me through my friends, I decided to do it my way. It was very humbling. The big man and myself didn't have a particularly good year together. At the time, it didn't seem like He was there but He was. How do I know this? Well, just look at the amazing support system He has put around me...my awesome friends (there's too many of you to name and I don't want to be guilty of leaving anyone out). These people aren't just those that I see on a fairly regular basis but also those who are overseas, those that I can just pick up the phone and have a conversation with for hours on end.

This year will very much be a year for me to be intentional with every part of my walk with God. Sounds so contrived...having to be intentional but I guess I need to start somewhere or it'll never happen. And this will start with me making sure I have at least 1 conversation with Him and then 2, then 3 then hopefully it'll just happen without thinking. After making the step to start talking to Him, I then need to learn to listen. I tend to be really bad at that. Since I suck at keeping to my Bible reading, I'll have to try and figure out a way to keep at it...

I can't wait to go back to Auckland and get going with uni and work and church this year. But with 1 more week remaining of my holiday, I am going to enjoy it and make the most of it!