"Jean time"

Well, it wouldn't be news that I am no good at taking time out for myself. I'm often more worried about getting things done, what's the next big thing that I need to complete, who needs a babysitter..and the list goes on.

Over the last few mentoring sessions, 'taking time out for Jean' has been on the list of things to do but to no avail...At the back of my mind I know that it is of some importance that I am able to carve out time in my crazyness to just chill on my own. But it is often something that I let fall by the way side. I find it easier to make up excuses of why I don't need to take time out for me.

As part of something for me to work towards, I was to put aside 1hr a week to myself. The good news is, I managed to drive myself to Howick beach on Sunday arvo and spent a good hour singing, getting some mentoring homework done and just watching the waves break on the beach from my car. (It was an extremely gloomy and windy day, filled with showers-for those that don't reside in Auckland).

I must say, prior to getting to the beach I was rather nervous about the idea of spending an hour with myself. I wasn't quite sure what I'd do or how I'd entertain myself for a whole hour. I don't often do well or chose to do things on my own. I tend to enjoy intimate company with a small number of ppl. But once I got there, put some good music on and started putting pen to paper, it was great.

Something else that caught my attention during the last mentoring session, (aside from sensing some frustration for my lack of want to express how I was feeling besides one or two words, that is) was my lack of attention to how and why I view or do certain things. I've never quite noticed what makes me tick. I got asked, "Do you think that is a problem?". Judging by the tone of the question...I'm thinking that it is.

So apart from making sure I get my 1 hr a week, I'm working on taking a bit more notice as to why I am me...