At the moment, I'm in recovery mode from a really really rough patch. The past 3 weeks have been weeks from hell for me. Though it hasn't been good for me emotionally, mentally and physically there has been 1 good thing that resulted from it: I discovered just how vulnerable and weak I can be.
Before I started full time work, I would go for days on end without stopping. It started with 12 days, then 32 days and eventually 53 days of constant madness. I coped fine juggling uni, coaching, work and ministry. I thought I could handle anything after that. Since starting work, I have had at least 1 day off every week with the exception of the pass 3 weeks. I think I would have coped fine if not for the extra things that I have had to handle. Unfortunately, there came a point where I couldn't take it anymore-I had to let off steam.
I tried to put it off over and over again. Constantly telling myself that it'll be fine and that I can handle anything. But I couldn't. So I did the unthinkable; I picked up the phone, dialed a number (while hoping that the person I was calling wouldn't pick it up so I didn't actually have to go through with letting off some steam) and that special someone picked up the phone! It was hard for me to do that. Can't say that I felt any better at the time but maybe it may make it easier next time.
Two-and-a-half years on, I now have people around me that I consider true friends. And I have found it somewhat easier to let off steam/vent. These friends would bear the brunt of my frustration. So, it's led me to wonder...
- Do you become weaker, less tolerant, more vulnerable when you have a support system around you?
- Is it a good thing that you are now less tolerant of life's stresses? If so or not so, why?
- As an introvert and someone who seems to have it all together/perfectionist, how do you tell someone that you are not ok?
- Is it fair on your friends if you don't keep them in the know when you need help most? How would you feel if you were on the other end of the stick?
3 comments:
My thoughts for what they're worth:
- you don't become weaker, you just don't pretend you're strong
- you don't become less tolerant, just more honest
- there is no perfect way to tell someone you're not ok. But that's alright
- it can be hard on friends if you don't keep them in the know, cos they want to support you
I don't think you become weaker either. I do think that you start to build some deeper relationships with those who become your support system, you start to become more open and honest with yourself and what's going on for you.
I also think that when you share with others and they are able to reach out and support you it also validates what is going on and in effect reduces some of the internal pressure to put on the happy face all the time..
just some thoughts from one who has also had a tricky time recently...
I don't think you become weaker - I think you learn to recognise the danger symptoms faster, which is a good thing.
Letting friends know is also a good thing - you don't have to hide how you are feeling, so that reduces pressure, they may be able to help (even if it is just being a willing ear while you vent) and sometimes together you can find ways of improving the situation.
When you went without a break you were putting an enormous strain on yourself mentally and physically. When you stop it is not uncommon to have a collapse - it is your boby's way of saying - I need to recover now. I know - I do it for the first week of every school holidays. If it has been a bad term, 'recover' is all I do in the holidays.
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