Meanderings

It's been a long while since I last posted...I know, I'm bad at updating and shouldn't hassle others about not updating too.

Life as a full time chef is finally starting to become more acceptable (for lack of better word)-the lack of structure in rosters, unsociable hours, ridiculous demands on the body due to lack of sleep & proper nourishment......bla bla bla and the list goes on. I am still getting used to it and am in a constant state of knackered-ness but I'm slowly coming to terms with the nature of the industry.

About a month ago, I finally dragged my rear end to a physio to find out what was wrong with my thumb/wrist. It had been sore (& occasionally really painful) for a good few months but I thought it'd go away after while and I was just getting used to full time work. But it never went away and got worse. So it was off to the physio, then to a GP to get ACC. Since then, after a heap of forms to fill in (this is coz I am an accredited employee-way too many procedures to go through!), I finally got my claim approved. That's the good news. The bad news is there is a high chance of my needing to get cortisone injections!!! I'm not looking forward to those but if it doesn't get any better soon it's not a choice. In the mean time, I'm working in a constant state of sore-ness....

I don't regret the career path I have chosen despite all the negatives of the job. I still remember the sense of familiarity I felt on my first day of work and that is what gets me out of bed each day despite how tired I feel. I enjoy the challenge of a busy service-docket machine screaming at a rate of 1 docket per second, the head chef calling out the dockets at the top of his lungs, each chef from his/her various sections trying to gage how far away the others are so that all the food from every section can come up at once for a certain table. This rush can go on for anywhere between 5 mins and 2 hrs at a time. As the rush dies down, this is the calm before the storm, we catch our breath before the next hit comes and it starts again.

As we head into the festive season, the level of busyness increases and so do the stress levels of everyone else. I am both looking forward to it as well as not looking forward to it. The bad thing is that our work load has doubled and tripled so that we are always on top of things and not running out of food but the good thing is that there will be no time for thumb-twiddling and that I am that much closer to heading back to full time study!

Yes...only 10 weeks and 1 day to go before I start back at uni. I'm very much looking forward to it-the structured weeks/months/years and ability for me to plan ahead. It'll be a cruisee 2 yrs of study because I have papers that I am able to cross credit from my previous course plus I have knowledge from that too. So I am going in armed rather than aimless...I feel good about it. I hope I'll still be saying the same when I start-do remind about this when I am moaning and complaining about going back to study!

Something that I am exceptionally bad at is keeping a routine with my bible reading. I'm sure I'm not the only one but that's no excuse. However, on the odd occasion I get my A into G, I have been working my way (though rather slowly) through Philippians. A verse that as been playing through my head over and over again (this doesn't happen often, so I figured I should take notice of it) is Philippians 2:3. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Well...when I was reading this verse many thoughts raced through my head. I figured it is a pretty straight forward verse-be nice to others, don't walk round with a big head, be humble, do things for the betterment of others. That's all good and I get that but the bit that stuck in my head most of all is "but in humility consider others better than yourselves".

The bible is so often taken out if context and this verse is no exception. Of course you shouldn't walk around with your nose in the air with a big head and thinking you're all that. However, it's easy for someone like me to take that verse and do what I do-constantly put yourself down. When do we cross the line of being humble to putting ourselves down? When is considering others better than you become self destructive? Nothing I do is ever good enough, it can always be better. Even when 'perfection' has been achieved, it's still not good enough. I rarely say I am happy with what I produce and when I do no one knows quite how to handle it...

Something I need to work on is to be happy with what I have done/produce. Maybe not just happy or satisfied but proud of what is. I know it won't be easy, it's something that other have been helping me work at and we are progressing-though rather slowly.