Globe Trotter

6 years on....

2010-04-18T21:25:00.003+12:00

Amidst the chaos and manic-ness that consumes me, it proved to be a good opportunity to take some time to reflect on what has been a rather amazing journey....

March 26, 2010 marked the 6th anniversary of my move from Melb to Akl. I know I already sound like a broken record but for those who don't know, this was a move that I never wanted to happen and was by no means an easy one. However, 6 years on and my preconceptions have been proven oh so very wrong on many levels. So where DO I start???

Let's go with work and let me just say, " I LOVE MY JOB ". I couldn't have asked for a better job with better perks and a better boss. It is everything I could have asked for and more. two fifteen is now 16 months old. We opened up in Jan '09 and survived our first year, the critical year of any new restaurant. We've gained a good amount of regulars and things are looking up for us as we continue into our second year.

Myself, along with my boss and another boy are the ones chained to the stove 5 days a week and too many hours in a day. Out the front we have two full time staff and bout 3-4 part timers. Oh and let me not forget our AMAZING kitchen hand!!! It has taken many bum jobs and crappy employers over the years to have landed this God-sent job (and I'm not exaggerating!!).

I basically get to treat the place as if it were my own; I determine how many hours I work. Should I have errands to run or appts to get to during the work day, I'm allowed to shoot off for as long as I need to. We all get a long like a house on fire; no work day is a dull one, it's like a comedy fest on a daily basis (it actually amazes us that we manage to get any work done with the amount of crap we talk!!!). We are more like family than work mates and it's more like home than work. It's the first job that I have thoroughly enjoyed each day and not felt like I needed to look for a new job 3 months into it....what a blessing to not hate your job but love every aspect of it. May it long continue.

With the few remaining hours I have left of the week while I'm not at work I can be found either at the dance studio, pilates/physio studio, out on the trails, yoga studio or the pool....and before you say anything, don't worry, it even surprises me just how much I can fit in a day! In my defence, as the saying goes: "Work hard, Play harder"

Running has unfortunately taken a bit of a back seat this year due to a related injury. I have missed it very much and my feet are getting very itching at the prospect of an upcoming series which kicks off on May 16 and runs through winter. Fingers (and toes) are very much crossed in hopes that I'll be ready to dawn the running shoes again by then.

The fall back of not being able to run has meant that I started swimming. I've been swimming 2-3 times a week since Feb and much to my surprise, it's going better than I ever thought it would. The fitness I had gained from running made the first swim a blast and consequently I've kept at it. It has most certainly helped suppress some of the running-hunger and kept the fitness up. It does look like I'll continue with the swimming even when I'm back running as part of some cross training but prob not as often as I currently am.

Something else that doesn't take up as much of my time as it used to is yoga. I do try to make sure that I take a class once a week but since I'd decided to invest more time in pilates/running/swimming, it's proven a little difficult to give more time to yoga. On top of that the travel involved in getting to the studio does require quite a bit of planning; each class I decide to attend takes up a total of 3.5hours of my day. That may not seem like a lot most ppl's days but seeing as I don't particularly have much spare time lying around, that is a significant portion of my day and week. Hence the decision to only take one class each week.

We've had 1 term back at dance this year already and it went really well. I'm looking forward to starting term 2...this year is looking great with competitions, auditions, exams and workshops lined up already!! I'm in absolute bliss with so much to work towards. Current timeline is exams in June and workshops, auditions and competition in July. It'll be a lot of hard work and prob a lot of nerves too but there is nothing I thrive better on than adrenalin. So, BRING IT ON...

Being in and out of physios/osteos has very much been apart of my life for a long long time. It's part and parcel of being a (ex)gymnast. A year ago, I was referred by a friend to a bio mechanical-based physio practise, bioSPORT, and it's been the best recommendation EVER! Part of my ongoing treatment/maintenance is pilates sessions twice a week, something that looks so easy but do not be fooled!!! I do enjoy the 'torture' and hard work and in a sick way, I find it good fun...it has been beneficial physically as well as personally. Through this practise I've gained some incredible relationships and this is testament to the ppl who own and work at bioSPORT. They have a great community of clients, which again reflects on the ppl that they are.

Flowing nicely from my last point is the single biggest reason why the last 6 yrs have been so amazing: the incredible ppl I have had the privilege and honour to be around and get to know. It is with the utmost sincerity that I say thank YOU to everyone who has been along for the ride no matter how small a part YOU think YOU may have played. YOU have helped shaped me into who I am today. I couldn't have asked for a better last 6 yrs and it is all thanks to YOU......

Milano & Verona in detail....

2010-01-01T22:11:00.002+13:00

Thought I'd go into a little more detail of the trip so far...

Milan: So flights etc getting to Milan were all pretty good. Everything went smoothly and all in all, can't complain. We even arrived into Milan a whole hour earlier than scheduled. Once we got through customs and picked up our baggage, we got tickets for the shuttle to get us into town. Til then, everything was going rather smoothly....and then it kinda went to custard just a tad. There were a few options to get to the hotel; either get the local underground or taxi or walk. I didn't know how expensive the taxi would cost so thought it best to catch the 'train'. What I didn't realise was that there was a difference between the underground system and the main railway system. So I paid E219 for what was suppose to be 2 stops down the round in the underground. Just my luck that there was a city called Loreto as well as a Loreto square (which is where we were headed!!!!!). So after actually finding out what was going on and waiting in a huge line for a refund, we caught a taxi (which ended up being only E8) and got to the hotel. After the day's events, we fell asleep only the get up for dinner. Original plan was to go to a family restaurant owned by Gaetano's parents. Gaetano owns O'Sarracino back in Akl. Unfortunately, there were closed til the next day. So we ended up having dinner by the hotel, our worse meal to date....off seafood and soggy pizza.

The next day we were off to Verona. Everything seemed to be gooing to plan until we were about to baord the train and I reliased that I had lost 1 of the 4 tickets!!!! So it was a mad dash to get one more ticket and onto the train we got. 2 hours later and we arrived in Verona. I was still very jet lagged and ended up sleeping for the next 15hrs!

Verona: We were here for 2 nites. Once we sorted ourselves out and had breakky, we hit the streets to visit the sites in Verona. We caught the bus into town with the 'Verona card' (gives you complimentary access to most of the main sites and use of busses). First site we visited was the Arena. That was a pretty spectacular site!!!! One way to feel ridiculously small...Me explaining it just won't do it justice so you'll have to wait for photos. Following the Arena we headed to the Castelvecchio. Along the way we walked through some amazing side streets and passed some pasticcerias (pastry shops). I was totally loving the quaint European atmosphere. So this castle we next visited featured a lot of art work and sculptures based on Christianity history of a certain era (I'm useless at that sorta stuff so you won't get details from me). We even got to head up to the towers of the castle and walk along the perimeter giving you a great view of the city. The rest of the morning we navigated the various sites along the way, a market square, through some more side streets....next main attraction was Juliet's house. Here we took the mandatory tourist photo with the statue of Juliet....Within the house was various artists' interpretation of the different scenes. For lunch we were determined not to have lunch at the main square where prices were very obviously tourist prices. We wondered off the beaten track and stumbled across this family owned restaurant and had a rather good lunch. Favourites were dad's order of Bacala(salted cod) with polenta and my polenta with gorgonzola and sopressa (local cured meat, similar to salami). After lunch we headed to the Roman Theatre. Another amazing site....venturing through the ruins and the rooms with rows and rows of artifacts displayed. It was getting pretty late in the evening so we decided to head back to the hotel. We were all pretty knackered that we fell asleep and didn't even get up for dinner that nite!!!

Next stop: Venezia....

Italy so far

2009-12-31T07:24:00.003+13:00

After a ridiculous amount of flying and transiting, we finally made it to Italy. First stop was Milan. Didnt get up to much there apart from trying to get over jet lag so we pretty much slept the arvo away after Jean did a major stuff up at the train station. (Will go into more detail when Im back). The next day we set off to Verona, home of Romeo & Juliet.

First day in Verona was again, spent sleeping off jet lag. The next day we ventured the streets of Verona and spent a good 5-6 hours walking visiting the various sites/ monuments of the city. The main arena was my favourite...one way to feel extremely tiny!!!!! Other highlights were the mandatory Juliets house and the Roman theatre. Pretty awe-inspiring. A day and a half in Verona was our stay....

Next day, ie today, we left Verona for Venice. We got in mid arvo. Once settled, we hit the streets for some dinner. The atmosphere is rather festive, left over from Xmas and in preparation for the NY celebrations.

Food so far has been pretty good. Nothing to say 'wow' about but we have only had 1 rather below par meal (which was in Milan). I also had my first gelati tonite...pretty yum! Can't wait to try the local 'vin brulee' which we are guessing is mulled wine.

Anyway, best be off...til the next update!

a long time since...

2009-12-23T16:04:00.004+13:00

...I last posted. Yes, I know I have been rather slack. But seriously, give me a break!! :) Seeing as the end of the year is fast approaching and I am going away for 3.5 weeks, I figured it was a good opportunity to reflect on the year that was.

But where do I even start?? I guess the beginning of the year would prob be good...

In Jan I started another full time job at twofifteen. We opened in early Jan and it's been a great year. It was my first job where I was part of an entirely new operation getting everything setup from the ground up (an experience in itself). This also meant that I was working for a new boss, something that I'm sure most ppl find rather nerve racking, and I was no exception. As the year went by and we got to know each other better, it has proven to be the best move/ decision I've made to date. We get on like a house on fire and I couldn't ask for a better boss. I look forward to going to work each day along with the banter that comes with it. (I guess it wouldn't be hospo if there was no 'piss taking'). All in all, a great year it has been-for the business in general and for my career. Most def looking forward to what next year might hold for us.

Aside from running, I've managed to get copious amounts exercise back into my schedule. I took up dance as an extra curricular activity to keep me sane towards the end of last year and am glad to have kept it up this year. It was nice to be part of more than just 1 dance in the year-end show but also to be able to help out with the girls from the younger group. If this year is anything to go by, next year will be bigger and better!!! Í'm still going strong with yoga, though not as often as I used since starting pilates as well. SO yes, the old Jean is most def back with a vengance.....fitting in crazy amounts of sport/ exercise on top of work.

This year also marked 5 years since I left Melb and moved across the ditch. As most may know, it was a choice I made begrudgingly. However, as years have gone by it is def becoming a little more like home each day and this year has proven that.

Earlier in the year, a friend reffered me onto a physio-friend of hers and it turned out to be the greatest thing ever. For starters, I finally found an amazing physio practise, bioSPORT, along with INCREDIBLY down-to-earth and talented physios/ biomechanist/ business owners. Secondly, we finally figured out why I've had a sore back for as long as I can remember and have been able to keep it under control. Most of the time, I am fairly pain-free!!!!! Thirdly, I found a long lost friend...Through pure coincidence, a friend that I used to do gym with back in KL when I was prob bout 8yrs old, happened to be apprenticing at this physio studio. It was pretty incredible to see her and reconnect with her again. Fourthly, believe it or not...I started running, off road running. For someone that hated running to now voluntarily hitting the trails and loving it...pretty amazing, I'd say. And lastly, the relationships I've made with the staff at and through the practise. An incredibly talented yet down-to-earth bunch of ppl!!

With this current being only my second full time stint, it was also a year of self discovery; it was by no means easy and even now, I'm still juggling church, work, social life and various other activities. One thing I've def gotten better at this year is making sure I give myself enough 'me time' and what better way to do so then by heading to dance, yoga, pilates or hitting the trails with other mad ppl...

This pretty much sums up the year I've had...not very exciting but it was good to take some time to reflect. It has been by no means been an easy year but has most def been a GREAT year! As for next year, I will continue to work at

twofifteen . I am currently waiting to hear as to whether or not I will receive an educational grant. I don't hear about it til Jan 30 so I'll post about it when I receive the news, either way. In terms of plans to return to Melb, there are no current plans. It is one of those things that will happen when it happens and I'm rather comfortable and at peace about it.

So til the next post....have a safe and fabulous festive season. Italy, HERE I COME!!!!

Beauty

2009-01-19T21:08:00.003+13:00

Today I received, what I think, is a beautiful quote from Jonathan...

"Cooking is a language through which all the following properties may be expressed: harmony, creativity, happiness, beauty, poetry, complexity, magic, humour, provocation and culture."

...And this is why I do what I do.

It is by no means a glamorous profession but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I love it despite the long hours. I love it despite the crap pay. I love it despite being is almost constant pain from a stuff body. I love it despite the often crude comments/ conversations that go on around me. Most of all, I love it because it is a gift I have been blessed with and it puts smiles on people's faces.

Xmas/New Year/Life as it is...

2009-01-13T19:05:00.002+13:00

Rewinding to life after my last Dec post...

The remainder of my holidays were good. I was invited to lunch with the Powell's which was great. It had been a while since we last had a meal together and so our time together was def one that I really appreciated. And as always, the food was fab!! There's never a bad meal in that house...

That same weekend I was invited to go white water rafting with Heidi, Brent, Josh, Rachel & Jo. Seeing as it was the last time I'd be able to do something crazy with Josh, I decided that I'd give work a miss and head down to Kaituna with the lot. I must say...my initial thoughts were rather positive. I wasn't stressed or worried. Even when we got there and got kitted out I was rather calm and excited. The crazy thing is, the only time I felt nervous was just before we left Auckland. Why and over what? Well, as we all arrived at the Bowlin's that morning a thought suddenly entered my mind..."Here's me, an introvert, spending an entire day with a bunch of extreme extroverts!!!!". Stupid, I know...but nonetheless, I survived and had the time of my life. (Photos are on facebook, so check them out there. I'm still having issues with uploading photos on my photobucket page. But I will get there soon.)

The following week I was house sitting in Sandringham. Since I'd been given time off til after the new year, I decided I'd utilise the facilities in the house to it's full extent! It had a woodfired oven. So I had a pizza party cum farewell for the Bowlin's on Boxing Day. It was great...About 25 ppl turned up and it was a fab time of fellowship.

For New Year's Eve, I was able to have a bbq with some friends. I really enjoyed it and def appreciated the fact that I was actually able to do so. The previous year, I was working! Not impressed... After dinner we headed to Devonport and watched the fireworks from the waterfront. It started the spit a little during the drive up but it cleared off when we got there and stayed dry for the remainder of our time there. It was sheer bliss...

On New Year's day, I spent it at the beach. The day was absolutely gorgeous...What more can I say; beach and a beautiful day = perfection

The following few days consisted of me sorting myself out for another of house sitting back at Sandringham and also getting ready for work. Yes, I've started work and I LOVE it!

The second week of house sitting was extremely timely as work was only a 5mins drive away. So I was quite pleased to have been asked to house sit again.

Work...well, where do I start. We started by giving the place a little bit of a clean down on Sunday. That only took a few hours so that was nice. On Mon we got stuck into our prep with whatever little produce we had to work with. Needless to say, it wasn't a very long day as there wasn't much to work with. By this time, the prospect of having to open our doors on Thurs was really starting to freak me out!!! Tues was another not so long day, though it was still slightly longer than the previous day. More prep, but still not enough. Again, Jean freaking out even more!!! Wed was our opening nite, where my boss had invited a whole bunch if friends, family, suppliers etc etc that have helped got the place up and running. It went alright; free food and alcohol generally go down well with the punters. Still we were WAY behind in our prep for the following nite's big opening to the public. Man was I in a state and a half!!! Thurs must have been longest day of the week by far. I pulled a 16hr shift that day...Considering our prep situation at the beginning of the week, our first nite was pretty good. It def could have been better but for what we had to deal with earlier in the week, we did well. The remainder of the week was def much better and we were all able to finally breathe a little.

My boss is brilliant; a nice guy in and out of the kitchen. He's just a straight up, no bull shit kinda guy but in a really nice way that doesn't make you feel 6 inches tall. My other work mates are really nice too. So it's def been a good start to this new job and I'm really starting to feel like this really was a good step forward.

So we all survived the first week, though business was a little slow. But we're hopeful that things will start to really pick up and start to buzz. Despite the lack of sleep, I am in good spirits and as long as we all remain as nice as we were to each other this week, I'll keep loving the work!

On other news, I've noticed that I'm really beginning to enjoy my own space and time to be alone. Having had the last 2 days off and spending it mostly on my own, I actually haven't hated it. Of course I would have loved to have spent some time with some ppl that I haven't been able to see for ages but that's besides the point. I went window shopping on my own on both days and on Monday I was able to use a gift voucher I received as an Xmas prezzie. I got 3 books and still have money left!!! I went on a walk on both days, on my own and prior to the new year I'd also gone on a couple of walks on my own.

It'll still be nice to get into a proper routine soon though. I'm def hanging out for that; work to settle down and get into a rhythm, getting back into yoga and having set days each week that work for both Moni and I and just life in general. I'll very much feel like myself again when that happens...til then, I guess I'll just have to learn to cope and grow in that experience. :)

Chef of the Month feature article

2009-01-05T19:54:00.003+13:00

I will post a proper New Year post in the coming weeks but here's the article I have been feature in...

Just this week, I started my new job at Two Fifteen Bar & Bistro. We officially open on Thurs, Jan 8 so it's currently a little manic and extremely busy. So when things settle down, I'll be able to update everyone on my adventures the few weeks prior to Xmas and into the New Year.

But til then, I hope you all had a fab Xmas and New Year!!! Here's to a great 2009...

peace/joy/good things and more...

2008-12-15T17:30:00.001+13:00

I sit here contemplating Brent's sermon from last nite...it really struck a chord, a good chord. As I reflect on the weeks that were, it truly has been one of joy and comfort.

Prior to finishing up at uni, I didn't have a job lined up. I was of the assumption that I'd def have a full time spot next year with the current place I've been at for the last year. I did, however, know that whatever was to happen (beit get a new job or remain at the current place) that I'd have no proper income for the remainder of the year. So as the end of the term rolled around, I was hoping that I'd get told that I'd have work next year and I needn't fret bout money etc. After lenghty discussions if was evident that a full time spot at Merediths was far from my reach.

I was a bit disappointed but not to the degree at which Jean would normally be. Funnily enough I was very much at peace about my job situation despite the constant bugging from my dad to look for a job!! So when full time work at Merediths fell threw I was very much in the mind set of "It's ok, something will come up in due time". This was prob bout 1 week after I'd finished up.

The following week, my dad received a phone call from his previous boss asking if he was still keen to work for him at his new restaurant. The conversation went back and forth and eventually, as much as my dad would have loved to commit to this job he couldn't. with that...lo and behold, I was offered the spot! I was stoked. It couldn't have come at a better time, just when I was about to start looking at job ads and sending CVs through!

It is important to note that for every proper kitchen job I've ever had, I have never had to gripe for work. I've always had the privilege of either being called up and asked to work for a chef or been recommended to other good chefs. This, along with many other factors, has affirmed my choice to be in this industry. It's been exceptionally comforting to know that I have made the right career choice for me and that I will be truly happy doing this for a long time coming. I def see this as a blessing, to do what I want to do for me.

I have so many friends that unfortunately have to pursue a career that they may not necessarily want to or enjoy but have done so because it is expected of them. I really am grateful that my parents are so exceptionally supportive of what I do (though that def took quite a lot of convincing!).

Over the past 2 months I've also had the great honour of getting to know a very amazing lady-Monique (you would have read a little bout her in previous posts). She truly is a beautiful person inside and out, genuinely nice and wants to really know you. Now, to get a better understanding of her personality...just think Jean but wiser! Crazily enough we are very alike and it's been a very good learning curve for me to almost be an observer of 'me'. Interesting and scary also describe this experience. All in all it's been a good time and I really enjoy every minute I spend with her. I always part from out little get-togethers feeling very refreshed and enlightened.

The pinnacle moment of this period of, dare I say it, Sabbath! came about just this past Friday. (I apologise in advance for those reading this blog that don't have a clue what I'm about to talk about. I have my reasons and will not delve into details re this matter. To those who do know what I'm talking about, plz just share in my joy and you are welcome to talk to me about it face to face but I need it to stay away from the cyber world. Ta). First, I received a letter from a certain government body with news I'd been dying to hear for sometime and there it was!!! It made my day...I didn't think it could bet better but I was proven wrong! Later in the afternoon, I receive an email from some random publishing company for Inghams Chicken asking me to fill out a questionnaire as they want to feature me in their Jan issue as Chef of the Month!!!! I couldn't believe what I was reading...Apparently they got my details from NZ Chefs Association , which I am part of. My only guess is that some of my tutors have been saying good things about me and hence passed on my details...Oh the joy!!! Getting all this good news was just great going into the weekend and I'm still on a real high....

As I've made my way through the season of Advent and now heading into Xmas, it really has been an amazing time of reflection and also a way of acknowledging God and His hand over my life. I admit that I am quite often rather useless at taking time out for me and being with God and I have been extremely grateful for these past few weeks as it has allowed me to do just that.

A prayer

2008-11-29T13:52:00.002+13:00

First impressions were anything but good
In due time that changed
There was nothing but amazement, awe
Seized it has not.

When all but happiness consumes you
It seems that pain is mine, too
Can I please help ease the that load?
Compassion, forgiveness
Lessons you have taught me.

Amazing is what best describes you...

clearer mind/growing up

2008-11-26T11:49:00.002+13:00

Since finishing up at uni, the lower stress levels have definitely been evident but even more surprising is how much that has effected my how I process things. When I look back to the this previous term at uni, I guess I have noticed a slightly more mature side of me;one that is more in tuned with herself mentally, physically and emotionally. Kinda cool but at the same time I find it odd (prob because this is a totally new and uncharted are before).

What do I mean? Well, let me elaborate...

The old me used to get really worked up and pissed off when I'd get last minute notice to cancel previously organised plans. No matter how valid the reason for cancelling on me would be, I'd still find something to justify my anger. The old me would never handle not planning anything and functioning on spontaneity created more stress to my already high stress life. I could quite literally feel the stress build up within me. The old me was very oblivious to what was happening around me; I was very absorbed with me.

Since my stress levels have significantly lowered, I've been much more aware of me; how differently I react and deal in various situations and with people. Don't get me wrong, occasionally I am still very much me and get so highly strung that there is no way of rationalising anything with me!

Anyhow, I digress. There have been a few occasions over this past few weeks where I've had ppl stand me up at the last minute and I have surprised myself. Instead of my initial reaction being one that is pissed off, it has been one that is forgiving and understanding. And that has been ok. I have also not minded that my last few weeks have not been planned out and I'm taking every few days at a time (now, expecting me to take ONE day at a time is a little too much to ask for at this stage!).

Being in tune with myself physically is one I prob struggle with most. I am a head strong, exceptionally independent and stubborn wee person. Having been a gymnast for many years and now a chef as well as growing up in the family/ culture that I have, the idea of just 'getting on with it' and 'harden up' is what it is. That has been my life forever and very often still is. However, I've been having to battle a rather large injury this past year and a lot of the time I block out the pain and 'get on with it' much to my detriment. But since I've had SO much time on my hands, it's been on my mind more often than I'd like. I have yet to learn to stop and give my back a break but I have definitely been more aware of the discomfort it is causing.

An area where I have been kinder to myself is allowing myself to be angry, happy, sad or whatever I feel; not feeling happy just because that is what I'm suppose to feel. I am allowing myself to just be and it's ok...Friends have been great at helping me with this too. I have received very timely txts at times inviting me to just chill with them and it's just been what I've needed; to get out of the house away from my parents and be with ppl whom I know won't judge me.

It's been good to have this time off, for the most part. The only thing that makes this period of rest suck is the lack of money. It is otherwise a very much enjoyed experience and will continue to enjoy every minute of it while it lasts. At least I'll be very ready and prepared for work when I do start! :)

2 weeks out and...

2008-11-22T16:42:00.002+13:00

...I'm entertaining myself rather well and keeping pretty sane. I'm also loving the stress free nature I'm currently in!

Initially I was rather apprehensive about finishing up at uni and trying to figure out what was happening with full time work, if I had any at all, and just trying to plan my life over the remaining months of the year and through to early next year.

I didn't have any full time work lined up, got stuffed around with what part time work I had and just figuring out how much time off I was gonna give myself. But as I have been proven to time and time again that as a door closes another will open in due time. And I now have a full time job lined up at a new restaurant that is due to open mid-Dec/ early Jan. In the mean time...

First week out of uni was interesting. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself but I managed to fill it up with stuff to do-fun and relaxing but nonetheless entertaining. I was able to catch up with a friend from UK that was passing through for a few days. It was nice to see her again. I actually also managed to see her when I was in Melb. We both happened to be in Melb at the same time and decided to catch up. I got to watch Rhys and Raegan for the afternoon, too. This was interesting...after that arvo, Kristen may not let me take them again! But seriously, they were a blast! The remainder of the week included another session at yoga with a new found friend! and a quiz nite with some friends.

For the past 5 weeks, a certain somebody and I have been going to these yoga sessions that is performed in a heated room (~40C) for 90mins. It has been blast! I've started seeing results already. Now to tell you a little more about this certain somebody...No! It's not a boy that I've recently met...

Now, Monique is a pretty amazing individual. I originally met her as my podiatrist. I was referred to her by my osteo who was at his wits end bout my back as it just wasn't getting any better. I was seeing her for a while. One day she suggested that maybe I look into trying some yoga to see if it'd help my back. I politely said' "Yea, sure I'll look into it" but fully was just gonna do that and no more. But she then finished her email by saying, "If you're keen, let me know and I'll come along". I was pretty blown away!

Here's someone that I barely knew but was willing to go the extra mile, beyond her call of duty, to be that support system. And so I agreed (not that she had to push very hard. I always thought she was lovely!). We'd see each other once a week for yoga and started to really get to know each other a bit more. And just last week, I asked if I could cook for her and her partner; kinda as a thank you but also get to know each other more.

Last nite was THE nite. I stressed about it all day but it was a blast! Well, I thought it went down fairly well anyway. They seemed to enjoy it and they were both just such great ppl. The nite was just filled with such buzz and laughter...

Anyhow, so week 2. This week has been slightly busier than last, which has been nice. Dance classes are getting a little more intense as we have our end of year show next Sunday. So it was class as usual on Mon and we have an extra class tomoz. I also managed to start on the flowers that I have to make for Becs' wedding cake. It was good to have help, considering it took 3 of us 4 hrs to make 100 buds! And that's just the first part of many...2 yoga classes instead of 1. We decided to up the pace and hopefully try for 3 sessions a week at some point. Then it was dinner last nite and supposed work today. However, considering the current economic down turn...I got the day off! It's been good to get a few things done but not cool for the pocket.

The next few weeks prior to starting are just going to be a matter of staying busy, keeping myself entertained but yet still taking time to chill. I've been rather good at that and so lets hope I can keep it up.

Anti-climax

2008-11-10T08:40:00.001+13:00

Well...I did say in my last post that you prob wouldn't see any updates for a while and so I kept my promise! Since coming back from Melb it was full steam ahead on the uni front. 7 weeks of madness & it has now come to an end...Really, it is very much an anti-climax.

I start to wonder as to how I am gonna fill my day when I get up in the morning! There's almost no reason anymore, what am I gonna occupy my mind stressing about? Crazy, I know but are you really surprised?

Anyhow, it's been nice to actually have a bit of a break. (And yes, you heard right!). I was actually very much looking forward to this time of the year when all the assignments and assessment would just stop and I can finally just take a deep breathe and enjoy that sweet smell of victory; victory of surviving another 2 yrs of being a poor student, enduring assignments and assessments.

I went to pick up my remaining assigngments and to get my feedback from my final buffet and didn't do too badly. I managed to top the class in the actual buffet presentation with a 95%. I was rather pleased but there were still things I wasn't happy with. But that is another post altogether! :) I will put photos up of my buffet once I can get onto my Photobucket page. It's been playing up.

Til then!

Stress free

2008-09-17T23:00:00.002+12:00

I hope you enjoyed the title of this post...Do savour it as I think it will be a long while before you see anything remotely resembling it again any time soon.

My holiday in the lovely city of Melbourne has just been absolute bliss. I have not felt as stress-free as I currently feel for as long as I can remember and I am loving every minute of it. I knew I needed a break but I didn't realise just how much I needed to distance myself from the all-consuming madness I am part of daily.

For those whom I was in close contact with, they will know just how hectic my life is and this distance I have given myself has been extremely beneficial. I will go back refresh and ready to hit the ground running again and power through my last term at uni.

It has also called for some reflection while I have been away. I realised just how much of a home Auckland now is and that when the day comes for me to leave it will be extremely hard (and I do mean that). Despite knowing that I needed the break and distance from life and ppl in Auckland, I have miss everyone terribly. Believe it or not, I actually can't wait to go back...Crazy, I know!

Anyhow, I guess, I just really need to keep searching and listening as to where I'm headed in this area. On another note...a quick rundown on the past week's happs...

I arrive on Thurs evening and was greeted by a lovely friend. Got dropped off at my guardian's place where I would be based for the duration of my trip. Fri I was off to the osteo here in Melb (long story and I'm not going to go into it). Then I went into Camberwell to meet up with some friends that were in the boarding house with me. We had a lovely lunch and catch up session. Then it was back to my guardian's in Clayton to prepare for the dinner I was to cook that nite. All in all, not a bad start to my trip.

Sat was the day of my 5yr school reunion. It wasn't all that great but was def nice to see some friends I hadn't caught up with in ages! We had lunch, took photos and had a tour of the new boarding house and old school. After which some of us decided to take the reunion and continue it over a GIANORMOUS take away gelati. Oh it was oh so delicious...The weather was just perfect too...Couldn't ask for anything better.

Sun was a nice quiet day with the family. We went to church in the morning and I cooked dinner. Mon was spent with Kath and Woolie (not her real name). We headed to the Dandenongs and had a lovely time at Miss Marple's. Let's just say that it is a ladies' place...the desserts were huge and good! The it was back to Woolie's to chill for the rest of the arvo before I prep-ed for dinner. We then has a lovely dinner together and the 2 bottles of wine def made the nite a little more special..! The choc fondue for dessert was also nice.

Tues started off with a cooked breakky and then a train back to Clayton. A quick lunch with my guardian and Kath before heading to the osteo again. It was a nice bus ride back to Clayton before spending the evening being spoilt by the one and only Mrs O...

I was taken to Lygon St (THE place to go for Italian food in Melb) for dinner. It was a good dinner too. And so was the conversations and company...then it was off to Koko Black for some chocolaty treats before gorging ourselves with more gelati! We were the off to a beautiful concert in which the kids were singing. They were recently on the local Channel 7s Battle of the Choirs where they came runners up. It was such a lovely treat and I had a blast! Thanx again Mrs O...

Today, it was off to the city to get a few things for dad. We started our little adventure by checking out the various patisseries in St Kilda. Then took a tram into the city where we had lunch at Degraves Cafe on Degraves St. It was a quaint European style street with such atmosphere. Thanx Alan for this little suggestion. Then we headed off to the chef shop to get stuff for dad where I picked a few things to add to our collection!!! To top off the day, we headed back to Koko Black for a hot choc and for me to get some choc to bring back as prezzies...

Tomoz I'm off to buy some windows (ie window shopping) at Chadstone with my guardian. It'll just be nice to walk around and reminisce. Later in the evening, I'll be off to the new BUGS premise and help coach before sitting down and catching up with my previous coaches/friends.

Fri will be spent with the family again and me cooking my last meal for them. I leave them on Sat morning to spend one more day with Kath, Woolie and Smillar. We are going horse riding during teh day and prob just chilling for the remainder of it. The lovely Kath will then put me up for the nite before very kindly getting up early and sending me to the airport on Sun morning...

Hmm...so this trip was very much done in true Jean-style-packed full with activity!

Normality

2008-09-11T08:03:00.003+12:00

Hmm...and by that I mean busy, lack of sleep, high stress and crazy adrenalin levels.

Currently I'm officially on a 2 week break. The last 2 months can be best described in 1 word: INSANITY. It was pretty intense; with the NZ National Culinary Salon that took place over the weekend of Aug 31-Sep 2 along with trying to keep on top of uni paperwork, assignments and assessments. The good news is that I was very well behaved and kept myself well fueled, ie I didn't loose any weight due to skipping meals.

This year, I competed in the same competition as I did last year; Nestle Toque d'Or. I won't go into details as it will take me way too long to type it out. Long story short, we ended up with a silver in the kitchen and a gold in the FOH (again, this doesn't indicate placing). There were huge dramas leading up to the competition so I did really care too much what the result was, just glad it was over and I didn't have to deal with the respective ppl ever again. But would I compete again, most definitely! Just making never with the same ppl as I just did. I love competing and have come a long way from vowing never to compete again. So, it's not something I'll give up without a fight but lets not worry bout that til next yr...

The last assessment/assignment we had prior to the break went rather well. Obviously I thought it could have gone a little better but when you have a really tough tutor, getting 100% is kinda impossible. But it isn't always a bad thing. We started another module and, with the 2 week break, are currently is slight stagnant mode. We will resume the completion of the this module along with a whole bunch of other things when we start back up.

The last half of the semester is pretty much going to be much the same like this last half-busy, high stress and adrenalin levels through the roof. However, I think sleep levels will be slightly higher..which of course I'm not complaining about!

When we go back, we begin our 'Product Development'. This is basically coming up with a product (it doens't have to be somehting new. it can be something that already exists) and basically going through various recipe trials and document this whole process. At the end of it, we need to be able to justify whether or not it is feasible to produce this product and make a profit of it.

We will also be starting to put our individual final buffets together for the end of the year. This is assessed and is basically a culmunation of the year's work. We choose a theme we like and design our buffet (according to the guidelines) accordingly. And surprise, surprise I have chosen to do Women's Artistic Gymnastics! I don't know how it'll turn out of if I'll do it justice but in my head it definitely is looking good. In true Jean-style, I have it all planned out and ready to go...actually it was all ready about 2 months ago!

Due to the madness, I knew I needed to have something in place so that I could relax and take some time out for myself (aren't you proud of me Melissa?). I have always wanted to start on some dance classes since finishing up with gym so I decided I'd start on Jazz classes. It has been great fun and I always look forward to the next class. We also started some flex and body toning classes. SO instead of only 1 hr a week for myself, I know give myself 3 hours!!! Aren't I good? :)

So that's me for the next little while, incase I don't get round to updating again.

But for now, I'm off to Melb for a 10 day holiday. It is a much needed time away from NZ and from all the madness. Hopefully I'll come back refreshed (though probably really knackered) and ready to get back into it.

Busy busy busy

2008-07-22T08:27:00.004+12:00

The holidays went by as quickly as it came. It was a much needed break and I enjoyed most of it, though I was starting to crave being busy again.

I started the first week of my holidays by spending most of it at uni preparing for the competition. I actually was glad about it and the competition went well (as you may have read in the previous post). The remainder of the holidays I spent mainly chilling out with friends. I had some over for dinner and really had a blast. Some of those invited I hadn't had to opportunity to spend time with before and it truly was a blessed time together.

But the highlight of the holidays was that I had my first experience black water rafting. It was a blast!!! Thanx to Joanne and Josh for the invite and thanx to Olivia for the company too...I would do it again in a heart beat!

Mostly the holidays was spent house sitting as my parents were away and really, so was my brother; I hardly saw him! I really appreciated the time by myself and the space, too. I managed to catch up on a lot of sleep and hopefully made a small dent in the rather significant sleep debt I have accumulated over the past 6 months. All in all, it was holidays that I welcomed.

Yesterday was back to uni...I was looking forward to going back and am still glad to be back. However, ask me about the workload and you may get a very different answer. I'm most certainly right back into the busy mode-I was on the go the minute I got out of bed at 5.30am til I went to bed at 11pm. And today will not be any different! Oh, the joys...

At the present moment, the prospect if me finishing this course and not going back to AUT next year is a scary thought. So what is it that is giving me shivers down my spine?

• The workload involved between now and the end of the year. I always knew that this last semester would be beyond insane but it still scares me and I am always wondering how I am ever going to be able to get through.
• The thought that I will no longer have the safety and comfort of being allowed to make mistakes. I don’t handle making mistakes well and it is especially stressful doing so when you are out in the industry as mistakes=loss of profit. And you end up with the boss riding your rear end… :S
• The fear of the unknown. It just means I’m closer to heading back into the world of uncertainty. What will I do? Where will I work? How long will I work for someone before I start my own place, if I ever start my own place? Will I remain in NZ or will I head back to Melb? Will I end up in Melb at all? Do I move out of home or do I continue to reap the benefits of living at home?

Questions, questions, questions… I guess I’ve had the security of knowing what the last 2 years involved when I enrolled for this course and that was a definite comfort. But now…

I think most of all, I really want to be happy with what God's plans are for me. I know I may not have always been contented with what is but rather questioned why it hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to. Yet, I have been proven to that He knows best time and time again. I guess it was very timely that at home group last nite we talked about waiting on God and prayers answered/unanswered on His time.

Now, more than ever before I sense God's desire for me to just be contented with the path He is currently paving for me.

Auckland Reginals Junior Culinary Fare

2008-07-07T10:05:00.007+12:00

Another year of Regionals competition is done and dusted again...

And I'm pleased to say that I didn't do too bad a job this year. My marks are still in the land of the unknown, which is why I'm still not as ecstatic as I probably should be, but I did get a gold. But before you get all excited, it does not mean that I came first...

With competitions like this, everyone is marked out of 100 and points are then taken away as they critic your dish. So in any given category, there can be as many or as few golds, silvers and bronzes awarded. Effectively, you are competing against yourself.

The stress, frustration and sleepless nites have been worthwile and I would definitely do it again in a heart beat! But for now, it is time to enjoy the holidays because the minute I'm back at uni in a couple of weeks, it is straight back into competition mode...

So here, enjoy these photos:

Chocolate Mille Feuille, Passionfruit Gel, Pistachio Coulis, Sauteed Pineapple

Life as it is...

2008-07-03T19:17:00.004+12:00

...at the moment I'm on holiday and for the most part, I am enjoying it.

Despite being rather hectic, the last few weeks of uni went well. After my manic few weeks of uni & work, it's calmed down quite a bit in terms of having to run around like a headless chook and I've been able to get more sleep. However, the stress of assignments, assessments and competition paper has still plagued me.

The last assessment of the semester went extremely well and I am savouring that 'perfect' and am still on cloud nine. :) This was the first assessment that we had to come up with our own flavour combination, recipe, plating etc. And for the first time ever, I managed to get a 'perfect' out of my tutor and it's something I'll keep aiming for... Here's some pictures of my assessment.

Cold dessert: Buttermilk Pannacotta, Lavender Raspberry Soup, Honey Snaps, Honey Foam

Hot dessert: Apple Rosemary Tart, Poached Rhubarb, Rhubarb Ice Cream, Apple Rhubarb Gel

This weekend is the Auckland Regionals Competition. And yes, I am competing. It was at this competition 3 yrs ago that I competed for the very first time and hated it. And this weekend is the first time I'm competing in this exact same competition since then and the process leading up to the competition this time round has been a much more pleasant journey, but it hasn't been without it's frustrations and sleepless nites. I am nervous but yet looking forward to it. Once it is over, I will endeavour to put up photos.

Since being on holiday, it's been interesting. This week, I have had the house to myself-my parents are back in KL and Ian has been away with friends. It's been nice to have a quiet house but at the same time it can get pretty lonely. But I have been out and spending time with friends; on Wed, Kate and I spent the day making engagement invites with Becs and then came back to my place and I made hamburgers for dinner over dvd. Sara joined us for that too so it was a nice girls nite. The today, we took the kids of the parents for the morning and went to the zoo. The weather held up really nicely too. Awesome day all in all.

So it's competition stuff that will keep me busy for the weekend before I start prep-ing for dinner next week. I'm having some friends over for dinner. I'm looking forward to it. It's just something I do when I have the house to myself. Then it's work on Sat evening followed by a busy Sunday before mom gets back on the Mon.

I am on holidays but I am still keeping occupied...Sheer bliss. Aaahhhh.....

All work & no play

2008-06-09T07:25:00.002+12:00

Currently, being able to even sit down in front of a computer and hear myself take every breath of air is a rare moment worth savouring. Over the past 2 weeks, I've had to have my Energiser batteries running on full mode for 70 hrs/week. At the moment, no word comes to my mind to describe just how crazy it has been.

On top of my current commitments at uni and church, I had to pick up a few extra shifts at work due to staff shortage and dramas. It was organised weeks before and I agreed to it. I was restrained enough to only commit to an extra 2 days and not 3 , which I could easily have said yes to. However, it has still meant that I do 2x20hr days + a 17hrs day to follow and add that to the othe days I've either got other classes, training, work or church.

I have been running on adrenalin for most of the fortnight but despite being so completely drained, I can still say that I love what I do. In that sense, it has been very reassuring that I am in the right industry and it is something I can see myself continue doing for a long time. This decision that I made 5 yrs ago for my career has so far been the best decision I have made for myself, no regrets.

This week is yet another 70 hr week, unfortunately. Fingers crossed that this will be the last of it. However, even if the hours drop next week the madness still goes on as we are fast approaching the Junior Culinary Fare which is being held on July 5&6. Training is well underway for that and for the most part is has been going well. There is just a fair bit of refining to do to my dish before I can be happy with it.

Besides training for the Regionals, I've also been training for Nationals which is being held in September. Soudns crazy to be training SO far in advance but nothign beats being prepared. Training for this event hasn't been going as smoothly and at times does take a lot out of my and create more frustration and grief then it does satisfaction.

So for this current moment, I can only take each minute as it comes and just continue to breath. I am very much looking forward to the break I will have after Regionals but til then...

Been thinking...(surprise surprise)

2008-05-19T13:11:00.002+12:00

During the drive home from work last Saturday nite/early Sunday morning, my work mate and I (we car-pooled) were talking and the subject of alcohol came up. I don't think that it comes as a surprise that chefs are generally placed in the same category as alcoholics, in fact it is rather common.

I knew going into this industry that alcohol played a HUGE part in the rise and fall of a chef. I also knew full well that if I didn't make some serious choices and put certain boundaries in place as well as ensure that I surrounded myself with accountability relationships that I'd run the risk of following in the footsteps of many EX-great chefs. (These were footsteps I didn't want to follow).

Some of these choices, boundaries and relationships included:
• No consumption of alcohol is to take place if I have to get behind the wheel afterwards, a great excuse for not drinking at the end of the nite after work. See next point…
• Upon returning home, no consumption of alcohol is to take place as a regular part of winding down at the end of a working nite. This is normally where the problem starts, alcohol is used to help with getting to sleep so you actually get some sleep before starting another LONG day
• Alcohol is consumed as a once off/occasionally for pleasure, NOT to get drunk on
• Telling close friends of the boundaries put in place so that the chances of me slipping up are highly unlikely. I have a real fear of seeing the disappointment that could possibly be written all over their faces if they ask and I have to tell that I stuffed up
• Sometimes the choice not to drink is a sacrifice. Drinking is a social thing to do and it’s something often done at the end of the nite while winding down with the rest of the brigade and by not drinking, it is considered uncool. This often leads to being left out and not being invited to events.

So back to the conversation that I was having that nite...as we talked the topic of drinking as being a sociable thing and a kind of "bonding session" came up. My work mate was of the opinion that he felt pressured into drinking as a way of building a relationship and as a way of being sociable. He felt that if he started to say no that he'd start to feel isolated and thought of differently. There was also a notion of "I have done this all my life and why not? I don't see anything wrong with driving home after having numerous bottles of beers".

I kinda tried to explain to him where I stood on this subject, without offending him. It wasn't so much to get him to change, although obviously that would be ideal, but it was more to try and get him to take a look at this issue from my point of view, to get him thinking. I don't know if it fell on deaf ears but it sure felt like it.

This is an issue that I will continuously wrestle with. Not that I see myself going down the route of hitting the piss or getting into alcohol related problems but more so the social aspect of alcohol and standing by the tough boundaries I have set up for myself and what it means for me to have to sacrifice certain relationships for self preservation.

holidays/work/Savour NZ

2008-05-05T13:25:00.002+12:00

The last 2 weeks saw me on a mid semester break. It wasn't a break I was looking forward to (I know that this wouldn't come as a surprise to many). This was mainly due to the fact that I didn't have much on to keep me occupied til this past weekend.

So as the first week went by I pretty much just bummed around and did bugger all. I was quite ready to head back to uni by the end of the week! As the second week rolled round, I helped dad out with a dinner that he was asked to cater for. That was very much welcomed as it broke the monotony of doing nothing much.

Before the holidays, myself and a few others from uni were asked to help out at the latest Savour NZ. I was looking forward to this the entire holidays and though it was great to be busy it was a big let down. Unfortunately, we ended up being used as slaves for the hotel instead of being used to help out the celebrity chefs, which was what we were told we were gonna be used for.

Fortunately, my boss was at Savour doing demos and I was able to give him a hand. After the demos, I was able to then head into work with him and give them a hand for service. The days I ended up work mounted to bout 15-20hrs each day but I have no regrets. I actually had a blast being back at work!

Since my 5 week holiday, I had yet to go back to work as my boss was finding it tricky to fit me in and I was living off my savings. It was getting pretty dire that I go back to work, not so much for the money (though that is always helpful) but more for my sanity. I was getting really restless each week as the weekend rolled around. I desperately needed to and wanted to go back to work.

So, even though I've had a very very full on weekend with absolute minimal sleep it was a blessing in disguise. My boss finally said OK to me coming back to work and I officially start back this Saturday. Yay...

It started off as a holiday that I dreaded but ended on a fairly high note.

I'm back at uni now and we're back into the swing of things with assessments and assignments to keep me going. This term will be pretty full on with Regional competition looming in the near future it will also entail competition training. Mind you, a friend and I have already started on training for Nationals which is in late August. So, I guess I can now truly say...life is back on the go, finally!

"Jean time"

2008-04-15T08:16:00.004+12:00

Well, it wouldn't be news that I am no good at taking time out for myself. I'm often more worried about getting things done, what's the next big thing that I need to complete, who needs a babysitter..and the list goes on.

Over the last few mentoring sessions, 'taking time out for Jean' has been on the list of things to do but to no avail...At the back of my mind I know that it is of some importance that I am able to carve out time in my crazyness to just chill on my own. But it is often something that I let fall by the way side. I find it easier to make up excuses of why I don't need to take time out for me.

As part of something for me to work towards, I was to put aside 1hr a week to myself. The good news is, I managed to drive myself to Howick beach on Sunday arvo and spent a good hour singing, getting some mentoring homework done and just watching the waves break on the beach from my car. (It was an extremely gloomy and windy day, filled with showers-for those that don't reside in Auckland).

I must say, prior to getting to the beach I was rather nervous about the idea of spending an hour with myself. I wasn't quite sure what I'd do or how I'd entertain myself for a whole hour. I don't often do well or chose to do things on my own. I tend to enjoy intimate company with a small number of ppl. But once I got there, put some good music on and started putting pen to paper, it was great.

Something else that caught my attention during the last mentoring session, (aside from sensing some frustration for my lack of want to express how I was feeling besides one or two words, that is) was my lack of attention to how and why I view or do certain things. I've never quite noticed what makes me tick. I got asked, "Do you think that is a problem?". Judging by the tone of the question...I'm thinking that it is.

So apart from making sure I get my 1 hr a week, I'm working on taking a bit more notice as to why I am me...

Rough

2008-04-07T13:09:00.002+12:00

It's been a rough few weeks...

The manic-ness started the week prior to Easter with the first of 3 assessments. I did surprisingly well as it was a pretty nervy time, with it being the first assessment of the year and a new lecturer as well as a harder, more challenging work load. This happened on Maundy Thursday.

On Good Friday, I had to start on the prep necessary for a friend's wedding that was taking place the following day. It was pretty full on as it was also the weekend that cession put on Stations of the Cross (an art and media installation that tells the story of Easter). The good thing was that I was able to leave the setting up of our station to my other friends and concentrate on the wedding prep. But I made sure that I was well and truly done so that I could make it to the Prayer Walk prior to the service later that nite.

Saturday rolled round and it was pretty crazy but was definitely glad it was over. To the credit of my brilliant helpers, it went rather smoothly and not a lot for me to complain or pick on. A rather successful job done! (Enjoy this...it doesn't come around often!).

After the wedding it was off to a friends birthday do which fortunately didn't last too long. I was pretty over it by the early evening. But it was still good to chill out with some decent company before heading home to hit the sack.

Easter Sunday was a rather LONG day with our first ever morning service. It was still a little bit of a sleep in but after the weekend I just had it was not long enough! So after the morning service, it was lunch with mom and dad then back to church to mind the doors for our last gallery opening which then extended to the evening service. It was rather low key and after 40mins or so, I had to go if I were to make it home without falling asleep behind the wheel.

The next 2 days involved me getting ready for my practical assessment which was to happen on Wed. It;s the first assessment that I'd ever felt SO worried about and I was right to be that worried...For the first time in 4 yrs, I failed one of the items which requires me to do a resit with the maximum mark able to be obtained is 50%. It was hard and I'm still struggling with that...I still try to not think about it until I have to when the resit day comes around.

This happened on a day that I was supposed to be celebrating my 4 yrs of being in NZ. Needless to say, it wasn't a very good day!

After that rather demoralising day, I had to get my butt into gear and get a 1500word assignment started and done before the following Mon, which was when it was due. I was able to get it done in 2 days flat...

After the assignment was done, I thought I was finally able to relax for a bit before the whole assessment season started again but I thought wrong! My body decided it would get sick the following day instead of hanging out til the holidays to get sick...

So this last week has seen me a real grump. Instead of being sick for a few days, I've been sick for a week and a half now and am only just starting to recover...Kinda frustrating for miss perfectionist here!

It's also been rather discouraging to see that my body can't handle as much abuse as it used to. I guess, it is probably a good thing but when you are so dependant on the rush of constant adrenalin pumping through you, it's hard to have to slow down.

But yea, so that's just a little update of the past few weeks...Hopefully things start looking brighter this week. :)

Almost half a decade

2008-03-31T12:32:00.002+13:00

As the title suggests, it has been almost half a decade...since I left Melb for NZ-actually it's just gone 4 yrs to be exact. March 26 marked that day. I would have got this post written a lot sooner except that the last 2 weeks have seen an extremely busy girl.

The day came and went so quickly it almost slipped my mine. Maybe I was in the midst of a ridiculously busy 2 weeks of my life or that it's not that big of a deal anymore...Personally, I don't think it's the latter coz it is still a rather big deal for me.

It really hasn't felt like 4 yrs. It has gone by so quickly that it feels like I only left yesterday. Much has happened and much has def changed but the time in which all that change has happened really doesn't feel like 4 yrs has gone by.

As noted in my earlier posts, it really is starting to feel more like home here in NZ. I seem to have this sense of calm over most things. They just feel right, like being here and not in Melb. (Even though at this point Melb is not where I should be, I do think that I will be back there one day...)

So what's the latest haps in the life of Jean over the past year? Simply put, it was an absolute nutter of a year. One that I wish never to have again!

The year saw me back at uni again in a whole new class with a whole new bunch of classmates. It saw me become a poor student again as opposed to the slightly less pore full time chef. It saw me run myself down physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and therefore saw me take time off from ministry (something I never thought I'd ever have to ever confront). It saw me with a free trip back to Melb at the Good Food and Wine Show as well as being able to catch up with those who mean a lot to me. It saw me leave Sky City, where I had been working for 1.5 years and it also saw me at a new job. A job that I really love with a bunch of ppl that are amazing to work with. The year also saw me with my best results ever academically and it saw me gain enthusiasm and love for patisserie. By the end of the year, it basically saw a very overwork, high strung, extremely stressed Jean that was very much in need of a holiday.

Fortunately, I got one. Earlier this year, I had a 5 weeks holiday to Malaysia, Vietnam and Singapore. It was well deserved and much needed. Scroll down to earlier posts on my holiday.

Despite the rather discouraging year, it wasn't all bad.

Through the hard weeks and months, I was comforted by the fact that I have a great support system around me. With those friends, I got through it. And I guess, it is this support system that has made the last 4 yrs a real joy and I know that as long as this support is around me, all is good.

So what's in store for the coming year?

Uni has has a fairly good start with a slight mishap on the way already-not really such a good start to the year but hopefully it'll get better. The rest of the year should be as much fun as the last year has been but the workload is def a lot more challenging. In a way, it's good thing. I need to be constantly challenged so as to not get bored and to keep me on my toes. I'll try and keep you updated...

Work started off really well and I will head back soon. But til then, I'll enjoy having Saturdays off...

Church has been a lot more enjoyable since I've been back. I think that time away really helped me to gain some perspective as well as get some space. And I think, once you are refresh, things seem a lot brighter!

That's all I've got to keep you entertained about me. So...in due time, there will be another update.

Photos from Vietnam, Malaysia & Singapore

2008-03-16T15:58:00.004+13:00

Well, this post has been a long time coming but it's finally here...

I have been ridiculously busy over the past few weeks trying to get back into the swing of things with uni, church and work. The good thing is that everything has been going well and I am yet to start back at work. On the other hand, I managed to get myself into a bit of a whirlwind by commiting myself to a whole lot of stuff that is due in the space of 2 weeks, which has made up for the fact that I'm not back at work yet.

Anyhow, I am surviving. Do enjoy these photos...A word of warning though, you have to make sure that you have some free time up your sleeve to check them out-there's about 300 photos to get through!

Click here to view...

Life as it is...

2008-03-03T13:10:00.002+13:00

Well, I've been back in NZ for just over a week now and it seems like I have never left. Everything seems just right, just like it's suppose to-just like home...

I'm back running around and keeping busy. I'm back singing on the worship team and it was awesome being back singing! I'm back at uni today and I'm really worried about what is to come...

So really, I'm back in my element.

I guess, I wouldn't have it any other way really. I enjoy being busy and having things to do to keep me occupied. Coz otherwise, I really wouldn't have a clue what to do with myself! Well, it's def gonna be a busy year but we'll get through it I'm sure. They year has started well so hopefully it'll stay that way.

Back into the swing of things

2008-02-24T21:30:00.007+13:00

Finally, I'm back in NZ and I am glad to be back! Yes, you heard right...for the past few weeks, I have been rather open about the fact that NZ is the right place for me at this present moment of my life.

So, I touched down at 12.10pm yesterday and arrived home bout 1.45pm...Then it was straight back into my crazy life. I unpacked and freshened up (not that I needed to considering the weather I was greeted with!) and headed out the door to run some errands. No surprise really...Jean = busy!

I'm still very jet lagged but the feeling of being back in NZ where my friends are and life is, trumps the overwhelming tiredness I am currently feeling. It was great to be back at cession again tonite. And what was better was that feeling of freshness and renewed perspective and hunger to be back at church and 'getting stuck in'.

I was also a recipient of some rather exciting news but coz it's not my place to tell, that named person can announce it to the world (if you choose to) in their own time! I was very stoked...

Well, I'm off to try and get some decent 40 winks before the week ahead creeps up.

It's good to be back........Aaaaahhhhhh
p/s: photos will come when I have some time to organise the mammoth pile.

4 weeks down, 1 more to go

2008-02-16T16:34:00.003+13:00

Well, well, well...I can't believe it's been a motnh since I left Auckland for my holiday. Since then I've been in 3 cities (1 new city and 2 others I've been to), travel many miles, hopped on and off the plane too many times to count and eaten WAY too much.

It has been a good month and it was definitely a much needed holiday. I needed to go away and gain some perspective on things in my life. I just needed space, clearity of mind. Last year, I fell victim to a build up (over a few years) of doing too much, expecting too much and giving back too little to myself.

I started to lose interest in a lot of what I was doing. The area that suffered most was ministry. There was no more hunger, passion and love in what I did/gave. I hated that feeling and by trying to make up for the lack of everything, I pushed myself harder in other areas (work, uni) to try and find this hunger, passion, drive and love again. Even though I really enjoyed uni and competition season last year and found a job that I now love, it did more harm then good at the time. I was a tap whose reserves were running out and instead of turning the tap off to let the reserve refill, I kept draining it.

I had nothing left to give to anyone, esp myself, by the year's end...

So with 1 more week left of my holiday to go, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things again. I already have a list of things (that started even before I left for my holiday!!!) that need to be attended to the minute I arrive home. However, it will require a lot of smart planning so as to not end up in the same position again.

I had a hard year and instead of leaning on God, trusting Him and listening to what He was trying to say to me through my friends, I decided to do it my way. It was very humbling. The big man and myself didn't have a particularly good year together. At the time, it didn't seem like He was there but He was. How do I know this? Well, just look at the amazing support system He has put around me...my awesome friends (there's too many of you to name and I don't want to be guilty of leaving anyone out). These people aren't just those that I see on a fairly regular basis but also those who are overseas, those that I can just pick up the phone and have a conversation with for hours on end.

This year will very much be a year for me to be intentional with every part of my walk with God. Sounds so contrived...having to be intentional but I guess I need to start somewhere or it'll never happen. And this will start with me making sure I have at least 1 conversation with Him and then 2, then 3 then hopefully it'll just happen without thinking. After making the step to start talking to Him, I then need to learn to listen. I tend to be really bad at that. Since I suck at keeping to my Bible reading, I'll have to try and figure out a way to keep at it...

I can't wait to go back to Auckland and get going with uni and work and church this year. But with 1 more week remaining of my holiday, I am going to enjoy it and make the most of it!

Too much eating...

2008-02-12T23:15:00.000+13:00

...pretty much sums up what I've been doing over the past week! Since being back in Malaysia, I've been doing more eating than I really should, esp since I have friends around.

I've put on WAY too much weight and losing it is definitely a priority when I get back to NZ. It's been good taking my friends around and letting them experience proper Malaysian food as opposed to the crap that is being served in Auckland. Sad but true...

Everyone has enjoyed every meal that we've had. It's a pity that one of them will be heading back home tomoz as there is so much more to try and we have barely scratched the surface; and this is after 14 meals + snacks over the past week! The others will be here for another week so will be taking them to have more food. They've also been able to experience the Malaysia shopping malls in between all the eating to try and walk off some of the food consumed. Again, it's way better than Sylvia Park.

Apart from that, I really don't have much to offer in terms of news. I was looking at my diary the otehr day and noticed that I'm already looking really busy the minute I set foot back into Auckland. Oh well...I'll just leave that at the back of my mind until the time comes. In the mean time, I'll just keep eating...

Vietnam, Singapore

2008-02-09T00:13:00.000+13:00

It is the 2nd day of Chinese New Year and celebrations are much different to when I was growing up. This time round, it is a lot quieter and low key; no big family get together and dinner or big queues from auntie to auntie/uncle to uncle asking for red packets (a tradition where the unmarrieds receive red packets from marrieds filled with money).

Anyhow, I'm back in KL after being in Vietnam and Singapore for 1.5 weeks. The trip started off in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam with a reunion with my friends. It was nice to see familiar NZ faces again after such a long time. I hadn't seent these friends seen they left NZ 2 months ago.

In general, I found Vietnam extremely over rated. I was very disappointed but nonetheless a good experience. Traffic in Vietnam came as a total shock to me. I thought Malaysian traffic was bad but Vietnam was 10x worse! There is no sense of care or safety. There are also no road rules. On a one way street, don't expect traffic to come from only 1 way...traffic still comes from the other direction! Car/motorcycle horns constantly fill the air. Horns are not used as they are in NZ to voice annoyance or anger but more as a way to say that "I'm behind you" or "Watch it, I'm coming through and get out of my way". It was a rare sight to see only 1 or 2ppl on a motorcycle but rather a family of 4 or 5! It was unbelievable...

Back to food, most food was sub-par. A lot of eating was seen but not a lot of feeding. We never felt like we ever had been fed after each meal, feeling hungry again after 2 hrs. Having said that, there were 2 meals that were VERY enjoyable-'Pho' and 'Ban Xeo', traditional Vietnamese soup noodles and Vietnamese panckae respectively. Apart from that, all very disappointing.

My reflections on Vietnam: it's worse than Malaysia...I guess I can't complian anymore; Malaysia, though I never intend to leave here ever again is much better than Vietnam in terms of economically, hygiene, food and mentality.

After a week in Vietnam, we headed of to Singapore. Originally, this was the leg of the trip that I was least looking forward to but I was proven wrong.

The highlight of the Singapore trip was a dinner at Aurum. It is one of the few molecular gastronomy restaurants in Asia. My friend found the website while we were still in NZ and after checking it out and asking round we decided we'd make a nite of it. We were VERY impressed with the food, service needed some work but the food made up for it. You'll have to wait for photos....

I had their degustation menu that was on offer that nite. 9 courses, 1 cocktail & 2 glasses of wine later...I was very very satisfied. I'd be back in a heartbeat. (I'll dedicate a seperate post to do justice to the food and along with it photos, so hang in there).

The following nite, we went to try out Les Amis. It has been up and running for many years now and has definitely made a real name for itself in the Culinary scene. However, we were quite disappointed especially after the meal we had the nite before at Aurum. A real anti climax...Service was amazing but food didn't match up to it. Wine list was ridiculously huge but interior design and layout was good. They just needed to work on the flavours and combination of each dish considering the prices they charge! Oh well...now I know.

So, I'm back in KL now with the mob and it's pretty quiet. But we are still doing heaps of eating, what else?! They'll be here for another week or so, which equates to MORE eating...

Tomoz we are heading up to Genting Highlands. As the name suggests it is a highlands situated in the East Coast of mainland Malaysia. It is a popular holiday location for both locals and tourists alike as it is nice a cool (~16-20C) as oppose to the usual hot and humid weather. It should be a good day out...

Til the next post...

p/s: I don't have anyway of downloading photos from my camera to the computer thus I have not posted any. I will do so asap when I get my hands on a cable or wait til I get back to NZ. I do apologise...I am very annoyed at myself for forgetting to bring it with me. :(

Latest haps

2008-01-23T13:43:00.000+13:00

As most of you know, I was very much looking forward to the plethora of food that is normally on offer in Malaysia. The variety is still evident and probably even increased. However, I have been sadly disappointed...

I don't know if it is just me and my standards/expectations have gone up or the the care and quality that goes into preparing a dish has gone down the drain! I think in some occasions it is me but more often than not, the care factor is definitely no more there. Very sad...

For a country with such incredible food to offer, why is it that they can't even get that right?! *sigh*

Anyhow, despite a few sub-par experiences there have been a couple of meals that have been rather good. Last nite I had dinner with my cousin, his new girlfriend and Auntie Jacqie and the family. What we had was a typical Chinese meal where you order an array of dishes to share and it is to be eaten with rice. We had 1 large crab tossed in a spiced salted egg sauce, vege medley in spicy shrimp paste, a whole chix just light poached serve with spring onion/ginger oil, bbq pork, red wine braised pork ribs and a traditional Chinese New Year dish (this I can't explain..). I forgot to bring the camera out but we will be back there again when my friends are up in KL. I will make sure I don't forget it then!

Earlier in the day, dad and I headed into the city-something I hate with utter passion-but it had to be done. We needed to go into the bank to sort some stuff out. But we then headed to a Japanese restaurant a little while away. This place was called Wa-Raku. It is supposed to be a fine-dining Jap restaurant. It's prices definitely reflected that but the food, though not bad but for it's prices, I expected a little more...

We've yet to battle the shopping malls again as today is a public holiday, I told dad I'm not even attempting that feat. If you think Botany and Sylvia Park are a nightmare....multiply that by 20 and that's what it's like here!

On Mon, I spent a few hours at the hairdressers and treated myself. The photo will come, Mrs O...I promise. Just be patient.... :D It's much shorter, which I really wanted and it has been thinned out. It is also no longer copper/goldish rather light brown with a redish tinge through out. I quite like it though it wasn't quite what I expected. Actually, I didn't really know what to expect since I told the hairdresser that she could do whatever she wanted but within reason. A rather interesting experience, I must say...You proud of me, Melissa...?

Well, only a few days to go before I'm off to Vietnam and catching up with the gang.

Til the next adventures...

OFFICIALLY and finally on holiday

2008-01-20T13:05:00.000+13:00

Well, well, well...As of yesterday, I am officially on holiday. By this, I mean that I am many many miles away from receiving calls from work asking me to fill in when I'm supposed to have finish work on NY eve. (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new job but when you are suppose to be on holiday and have to go into work..that's not so cool).

Anyhow, I flew out early arvo yesterday and arrived safely in KL later that nite. There is a 5hr time difference and currently still running on NZ time. Thus, haven't had much sleep; actually, sleep has been rather lacking all week. The 10hr flight was torture but nonetheless, I'm off the plane now. Since being in Melb, I've had quite a strong hatred for flying. Every year for 3.5yrs, I flew back and forth between Melb and KL 4 times a year with each leg of the trip taking 8hrs long. So now, the thought of flying really fills me with dread.

So, dad and Auntie Jacqie (a long time family friend of ours) came by and picked me up from the airport and we headed for supper. It was good...I'm looking forward to more food to come. Tonite, we are having dinner with my dad's sister and the family. I'm looking forward to seeing the kids again and just reconnecting with them. They have grown up HEAPS....and of course, I'm looking forward to the food too! I'll try and remember to take photos.

This past week was originally assigned for me to get a whole heap of cleaning, organising and packing done before I left. However, for those of you whom I have told bout my boss and his arm, I ended giving him Mon & Tues. But me being me, I sucked myself into working Wed as well and somehow managed to say to him that I'll give him a half day on Fri. So, I pretty much worked all week. How do I always get myself into situations like that?!

Due to the work situation, I was rather stressed out and rushed when it came to organising my packing. It did get done and I remembered everything that I needed to bring too. Oh, and I came in under weight!!! Considering how much I had to bring back as prezzies, I was VERY surprised.

I can't really say in one word how I feel bout this trip coz there is no one word to describe it but rather many words; excited, nervous, apprehensive...I'm excited to reconnect with family that I haven't seen for many years and had very little communication with them too. I'm excited about my trip to Vietnam and Singapore. I'm excited about being able to travel with friends. But I am nervous and apprehensive because everything is different. Nervous coz I don't know what to expect. Apprehensive coz I am away from my home (I never thought I'd say it but yes, NZ is home) and my support system for 5 weeks. It's the longest I have ever been away from my friends, whom I so heavily rely on to stay sane. (If I have never said how much I appreciate you...hear it now: I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU!!!). I'm nervous and apprehensive coz I feel like an outsider, a foreigner in my country of birth-will elaborate on this at a later time/day/post.

Despite this though, I will definitely make sure I enjoy this trip. It is a much needed break from work, uni & cooking in general. I guess what I hoping to gain from this trip is some perspective. Having had a rough year last year, I'm really hoping that with this break I'll come back refresh and ready for what the year has installed but also to be able to handle the bad as well as the good with greater strength and knowledge that in the larger scheme of things, ALL IS GOOD.

More painting

2008-01-09T22:54:00.000+13:00

Rebecca and I have been talking bout getting a piece of painting done for a while now. And tonite, she came over and we finally got it done. It's similar to the one that I did yesterday but obviously slightly different. Enjoy...

The finished product

I'm really enjoying this painting business...Hopefully, it's something I can keep at when I'm back at uni and have a manic timetable. :)

Entertainment

2008-01-08T22:12:00.000+13:00

I'm bored!

Yes, what else is new?!! Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying my time off but with nothing much to do I get bored easily...

I have found something to entertain myself...PAINTING! Now, I'm not a painter nor am I artistic in any way but it's something I've always wanted to dabble in. So here is my first...It's not great but I guess it'll do for a first go.

The writing on it is people, places, events, things that all have speacial significance to me

Back to reality

2008-01-03T18:47:00.000+13:00

The past month has been a rather mad one, filled with many (ridiculous) hours at work and lack of sleep.

As most of you would know I've started a new job at Merediths. It's been bout a month and a half now and I have to say...I really love it. There's no feeling of dread of having to go to work each day and no counting down the hours til the end of the shift and I get to go home. The rest of the team are brilliant-not just as people but at their work too. It just makes it so much more enjoyable when others that you work with know their job well too. We work together like a very well oiled machine.

I've had a few nites (Xmas break and New Yrs Eve) where I'd be the social bunny and have a few drinks with them and it's been great getting to know them on a slightly more casual level. (I am otherwise very 'unsociable'. I refuse to have a staffy coz I've got to drive home and would much rather hit the sack then stay up any later).

It has however, been extremely hard work. The hours more than anything else. I did 2 weeks of full time work and clocked up about 60+hrs each week. But it's been worth it, esp with being able to pick up things a little faster than if I were to only work 2 days-which was the original plan.

Apart from work, I've been house sitting out in Sandringham and am back home now. It was nice to be closer to work and save on the travelling but it wasn't a particularly nice house so you won't see me back there in a hurry...

I managed to get Xmas off last yr and I had a good Xmas too. Mom got a few invites and so we had lunch at the Fussner's and then dinner at the Lee's. All in all, great food and awesome company. I was also able to spend Xmas eve at the beach to start the tanning process and the weather permitted it!!! Boxing day was pretty low key considering I was back at work the following day.

My New Yrs Eve plans went out the window real quickly when I found out I had to work. Oh the things we sacrifice when working in the Hospo Industry...It didn't actually turn out too badly though. We ended up finishing work bout 11.45pm. We then popped some Champerz and had our own lil' countdown. We then just chilled out at work for the next few hours over numerous bottles of opened wine, which obviously wouldn't keep over the 2 weeks that we would be closed. Hunger started to set in and we made our way down the road to some Chinese shop which opened til 5am and had supper. So it was a nice way to usher in the New Year with some very decent people.

We are now officially on holiday-we are closed til Jan 15. And I'm totally digging it! It's been great to have some time off. I've spent 1 day at the beach already and have a few more planned before I head away. I've also been able to catch some movies and will be catching a jazz gig this Friday. I'm really looking forward to that, seeing as I've been working and haven't been able to go to any. Should be good.

So what's install for this coming year for Jean? A lot!

For starters, I'm going away for a much deserved 5 week holiday to Kl, Vietnam and Singapore. Then back to uni for 1 final yr (and this time it really is the last year!). In the midst of the madness of uni, we'll be starting plans for competition and maybe trying to fit in a few more small competitions on the side. I'm also hoping to make a weekend trip to Melb for my 5yr reunion at PLC.

I guess most of all, I really want this year to be a year where things start to come together and make sense. For me to build a better relationship with God. To be able to call Him "Father" and really mean it. To be able to REALLY lean on Him. To be able to REALLY trust Him. To be able to just TRUST that what will be is what is...

2007 was a particularly trying year and I can't say that it was my favourite year. But, I'll try and learn from what the year was to make this year a better one...

Here's to 2008! Happy New Year, all...

A week on

2007-11-27T10:31:00.000+13:00

Currently, I'm well into my second week of holidays. It sure feels like I've been on holiday a lot longer...

Anyhow, aside from being good to myself and taking time out during the first week of holidays I started work at Merediths. It is a good place and very different to SkyCity. I don't regret taking the job there at all. It hasn't been easy though. Because I am only there a couple of times a week, it makes it harder for me to pick things up and personally, I find that frustrating. Some may not see that as a problem at all but being a perfectionist and having such high standards for myself, I hate not being able to just 'get it'. So it's def a learning curve for me...I'm back at work again today for the next 2 days. Hopefully what I learnt last week, I haven't forgotten.

So after work last week, I was going to just laze around at home on Thursday. But I got a call asking if I was keen to do some painting. So off I went and spent the day with Rebecca and Kate in the garden painting the day away. It was nice to have some company as oppose to just vege-ing out in front of the tv. Friday included sending dad off to the airport and taking the Dunn girls out for the afternoon. It was awesome...I had a blast and I think the girls did too. Unfortunately, I got sun-burnt!!! Once on Thurs and again on Fri. Come Friday evening and I was rather sore...

I didn't do much during the day on Saturday. Some friends and I went out for dinner at Bracu in the evening, though, and it was good. Us four have spent a lot of dinners together this year and it's nice to enjoy dinner with some other chefs...Jie Min was heading back the following day so we thought it would be nice to have one more dinner before we went our separate ways only to be meeting up again in late Jan.

So, despite keeping busy and out of trouble I have been pretty disciplined in making time for myself. I guess, it's a little easier to make sure I keep this going at this present point in time as it is the holidays. The true test will be if I can maintain it when I'm back at uni. Oh well...I've got a few more months before I have to worry bout it.

Photos and more

2007-11-16T12:02:00.000+13:00

Well, I am officially done with uni for the year. We finished up with a HUGE deep clean of the kitchen, which took a good part of 4 hours, and then lunch with the rest of the class and our lecturer. It's been a great year and def no regrets for deciding to go back down the road of being a poor student.

Though much of what I did this year in class was repetition of the previous two year I was at uni, there was still loads to learn and repetition was very much welcomed. I picked up new skills and honed the ones I already had. So next year looks to be another brilliant year. But before that comes round, I'm looking forward to the upcoming break that I'll be having.

For photos from the final buffet, head to this website and scroll down to the photos link and enjoy...The photos on there are of the whole buffet but for some shots of my work here they are:

And all those tiny mice and frogs that you see with the labels..it's a joint effort between myself and a friend of mine, Jie Min. We spent 3 days making them out of marzipan. There is a reason why we made them mice and frogs-a little inside joke, you have to be there to get it...but enjoy the photos anyway.

So I start work at this new job next week. I'm both looking forward to it as well as nervous but I guess that's expected when starting at a new job. Anyhow, I do have the next few days off before starting so I'll be enjoying them...however, I do have a yucky cold which came down on the day of our Final Buffet!!

Plans over the holidays? Aside from working, I've just been asked to house sit for a friend's friend. It'll be a nice month of having my own place so I'm looking forward to that. And then I head away to KL, Vietnam and Singapore before I'm back at uni for my final year. (And it will be my last year of uni for a nice little while when I'm done...). Another friend and I will also be meeting up with a lecturer to start discussions rolling for next year's competitions. We will also be getting a one on one masterclass on sugar work. Now that...I'm looking forward to! Should be fun. I'll also be keeping busy making X'mas presents, as I do every year, and that will keep me out of trouble for a few weeks.

So, I'll be occupied but not exceptionally busy...

Updates

2007-11-11T14:30:00.000+13:00

I know...I know...I've been VERY VERY slack with updating. Let me try and make it up with this post:

Well it's been a pretty crazy few months since starting term 4. It's gone by with extreme speed, I must say! 3 weeks into the term and we had our first assessment, 2 weeks later it was our final assignment was due in along with having our final theory assessment and the following week we had our final practical assessment. So it's been full steam ahead, as you can see. No complains from me though, that assessments and assignments are over and done with for the year. As much as I enjoy them, they were getting a bit draggy and I was starting to really dread them. But it's done now.

Since we've finished with the business end of the year, we've been starting on some things that need to be done for our final buffet that is being put on next week. A friend and I have been spending all our free time at uni making marzipan animals and a potrait for the buffet. It looks pretty cool, dare I say. I'll post some pictures next week of the buffet when it's all set up.

In the midst of all that, I resigned from Sky City and landed myself a job at a new fine dining restaurant on Dominion Rd, Merediths. The chef/owner is Michael Meredith who was the previous head chef at The Grove.

I'm yet to start work at Merediths but I have officially been offered the job. I'm very much looking forward to it; with much to learn. It's a tiny 28 seater restaurant with an open kitchen, gorgeous interior and toilets are quite spectacualr too! (I know it sounds crazy to be analysing a toilet but toilets are one of the few tell tale signs of whether or not the restaurant is about to go under!).

Everything, with the exception of breads and cheese are all made on site, including desserts! That was just such an awesoem thing for me when I saw that. At least this course will come in very handy for me to put what I have learnt into practise.

However, landing this job meant that I have had to put my trip to Melb on the back burner again. But I'm not too annoyed about it, considering I got a free trip earlier in the year and saw eveyrone I wanted to see then. Granted, it was a very rushed trip but it was still a trip. So it'll just have to be next time...

I am still making the trip back to KL in Jan. It's a month long trip with 2 weeks of it spent in Vietnam and Singapore. My friends and I are doing a trip to each others countries and they will be spending 2 weeks after Vietnam and Singpore in KL with me. We are all looking forward to it...however, I'm not looking forward to the pounds that I will pack on from that month long food-filled constant-eating trip!!! Oh the sacrifice...

With this new job, I will also be having Xmas and New Year's off! A rare occasion and one that I'm looking forward to. It's because the restaurant closes over that period, so I get time off...Otherwise, I would've spent another Xmas and New YEar staring at pots and pans and stoves-though, I really shouldn't complain...it's part of the industry and I knew that before I got myself into it. But I will def savour this time off over New Year and Xmas.

Besides, work and uni there hasn't been much else happening. I'm still on a break from ministry. I'm still not sure when I will get stuck into it again but it is being considered at the moment. It's been hard to take a break but I know that it was needed. It's often even hard to think about it but it needs to be done. So we'll see what happens when the new year rolls round.

Well, that's about it for news for now. I hope it has made up for the lack of posts over the last month and I will endeavour to put a few more posts up when holidays roll round in the next week or so.

Turning 22

2007-10-24T21:01:00.000+13:00

Another year, another birthday and another year older! I had a great birthday this year. It's not often that I do anything in the form of celebrations but this year I decided to have some friends over for my birthday. My actual birthday was pretty low key but I did have 2 birthday dinners-one, a surprise and the other I cooked.

For the surprise dinner, my friends from uni spoilt me with an 8 course meal!!!! I was SO stuffed (excuse the pun). It was awesome though...

Then for the dinner I cooked, I had about 15 ppl over and dad and I made quite a good amount of food. It went down well and everyone seemed happy. All in all it was a brilliant nite and a great birthday.

*Being able to have so many ppl over wad due to the fact that mom was away in Melb for a BSF retreat!!

Road trip

2007-09-26T20:37:00.000+12:00

My recent road trip down country was def a much needed break. We had a great time starting with lunch on the Thurs at Tauranga then spending the rest of our weekend in Taupo and the Whakapapa ski field. Enjoy the photos...

Views from the bach we stayed at

Some shots on and from the ski fields

A shot from the car

Rant

2007-09-19T18:01:00.000+12:00

I'm halfway through my 2nd week of holidays at the moment and it's ok. I worked 3 days last week and 2 this week. It was originally 3 days this week as well but because it has been extremely quiet I managed to weasel my way out of work today. Rather nice actually considering I had a mountain of things to get done before I headed down country for a proper hoiday.

Tomorrow, myself and 3 other friends are heading to the snow in Taupo. (Well, we are hoping that the snow cover is still good). We will be driving to Taupo via Tauranga where we will be having lunch at a hotel that my friend works at. It's been a long time since I last saw him so it'll be a nice catch up. This trip will be filled with eating, drinking, skiing and just plain chilling.

I think all of us deserve this time away. We all spent the last term doing ridiculous hours at uni training for compeitions and decided that we'll make sure we have a good time away before term started back on Monday. I'm definitely looking forward to it.

On other news, it's been decided that I will be having surgery to try and fix my wrist. Not the best predicement but hopefully it'll be fixed once and for all. This means that plans for my Melb trip are still up in the air as a dates has yet to be decided upon.

Physically, I'm definitely less drained. The slightly slower pace of the past week has helped despite being at work. However, emotionally and mentally I am still rather exhausted and raw. I am doing better compared to the past month but still a fair way to go before I am even near 100%. The good thing is that I do have a very strong support system here and I am very grateful for that.

Anyhow...I will be taking heaps of photos while I am away so look out for this space!

Anti-climax

2007-09-08T09:15:00.000+12:00

Well, well, well....it's officially the end of the insanity of my 52-day week!

As you would have read from the previous posts, the past 52 days have been go, go, go. Do I regret any of it? No. I know what the Hospitality industry brings in terms of social life (or rather lack of), sleepless nites, crazy hours of being in the kitchen. But when you are both a student AND working in the industry, it is doubly mad.

Culinary fare
Well, as you'd expect...I think it could have been better. But such is the result: Kitchen came away with a silver (and this DOES NOT mean we came second!) and FOH also came away with a silver. We all were hoping and thought that we did well enough to come away with a gold but much to our disappointment...
My team mate got selected for the spot of Junior Chef of the NZ Culinary team. Since this will be read by the world, I'm going to reserve my judgements about it on this post.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself, both the training as well as the competition and am def doing it again next year. I know you may all say that I'm mad and crazy but nothing new there! It was a good experience with good training from our tutors and all credit to them that I want to do it again. If you remember, I said a long time ago that I vowed never to compete again after a bad experience in 2005. But I have since had my mind changed.

Here are photos of our food from the day:

Entree
Fruit wood Smoked Salmon on Apple Cucumber Slaw, Kumara & Savoy Fritter with Horseradish Creme Fraiche

Main
NZ Beef Sirlion filled with Bone Marrow, Spinach, Parsley accompanied with Parsnip Puree, Brocollini, Braised Portabello & Dauphine Potato with Red Wine Jus

Dessert
Blood Orange Bavarois, Chocolate Beignet with Passionfruit sauce and Salt Caramel

Industry placement
I hated the first week! I was so bored I was literally climbing the walls. Each day was such a drag and I was wishing I was somewhere else every minute. The second week, was a little more interesting. I actually had things to do and all in all a better time. I guess, they were happy enough with me...they've asked me to come back during Xmas to give them a hand.

Holidays
I'm officially on holidays at the moment but it wouldn't be Jean if she actually took the holiday, would it?! Well, I'm actually being better these holidays. I'm only working 6 days as opposed to the usual 10 days. AND, I am going away for some of the holidays too. So I'm not all naughty...

Wrist
I am due to see the specialist again on Tuesday. My wrist is slowly on the mend but too slow to make anyone happy! So hopefully, when I see him on Tues he'll have a better solution idea for me. It's just getting so annoying...It's been sore for over a year now!

So what do I do with myself now? Well, it is very much an anti-climax now that everything is over and there is no big thing happening in the next month or so. Uni will not be the same; considering I spent 12-13 hours at uni for majority of the week last term and will only be there for the usual 4-6hours next term. I guess, I'll just have to try and enjoy the slow pace for a little bit.

In between doing a million things over the past month, I've been able to find some time to do some reading. The current book I have been given to read has been fun, enjoyable, interesting but yet challenging, hard and often I just felt like not wanting to read it anymore. I was handed this book because all the characters in the book have funny little things about them that when all put together, become me! And just being able to see that really has been helping with the searching and questioning I have been doing lately. Not far away from finishing it now...

Well, I'd best be off! Adieu

What was and is to come

2007-08-25T22:05:00.000+12:00

So the insanity and lack of sleep continue....

We've finished up our 2 week Shop Production and it was a blast despite the early hours. It was 2 days each at 4 different sections producing various pattiserie items to be sold at the uni cafe. Here are some of our goods:

French Pastries

My Masterpiece-a spur of the moment inspiration

Another moment when my brain was working-Fruit flan lined with strawberry, kiwifruit & apricot

More French Pastries

So besides my normal timetabled classes, I've also been spending a lot of time training for the upcoming Culinary Fare @ Greenlane Showgrounds. Myself & another girl are competing in a team skills competition-Toque d'Or (Golden Hat). We will be competing against 11 other teams and some of us have put or names forward to be eligible to be nominated to join the NZ Culinary team. And no surprises, I have put my name forward...Whoever that is selected will have to opportunity to join the other chefs on the team to compete at International level. How cool?!

We are now just over a week away from Competition day. We will be competiting at Hall 5, Logan Campbell Centre, Greenlane Showgrounds, Sep 3 from 12-4pm. Your presence will be greatly appreciated. Let me know if you are interested to come and I'll hook you up with more details.

Other things that are happening in the crazy life of Jean include 2 weeks of industry placement as part of my course. I have been placed at Rocket Kitchen in Penrose. I'm not really looking forward to it nor do I have any hopes of having a blast. The cool thing is I only have to complete 50 hrs in comparison to my classmates who have to complete 80 hrs. This is due to the ridiculous amount of hours of training that I will be putting in for the competition. SO, there are some benefits to my lack of sleep over the past month!

On a more serious note, in general things have been rough. At the moment, I'm doing a lot of searching and questioning. I've noticed that recently I've started to react & respond differently to situations/things. I'm sure it is a good thing; being more aware about myself but coz it is uncharted territory, I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Possibly being in the unknown and out of control adds fuel to fire.

It's been a rough few weeks. But hopefully, once things start winding down it'll get a bit better....

Stupidity beyond comprehension

2007-08-07T20:36:00.000+12:00

'Insane' best describes the current state of my life. At the moment, I'm in week 3 of a 52 day week. I'm hanging in there but at times....I don't do so well.

Anyway, so my insane life has involved uni, work, competition training and several functions that I have to and will be catering for. This week, for example, involves me being at uni 7 days. Esp with it being competition season, I'm bolted to the kitchen for hours at a time and missing meals. Apart from having enough time for 1 meal a day most days, we also have a very sleep deprived Jean.

I don't think I've ever been more sleep deprived in my entire life. For some bizarre reason, I thought I was in Melb today. And while training and receiving feedback from my lecturer, I kept thinking "You sound very Kiwi. Constantly saying 'aye'. It's feels like a while since I heard that accent...". Mind you, I was in NZ, at uni but for some weird and wonderful reason, I thought I was across the Tasman!!!! Just as well I didn't open my big gob and make myself look like more of a fool than I already am..... *sigh* (Just thought I'd share my stupid moment of a lifetime.)

To keep me mentally on to it and my mind off competition thinking, I've been loaned a fiction book. It's been a rather enjoyable and hilarious read actually. However, it's been a challenging and hard read at times too. I was handed this book to hopefully help me see me and understand me a bit more. (If that even made any sense).

Holidays

2007-07-14T17:23:00.000+12:00

I know for the past year or so I've been rather with keeping up to date on my blog. Unfortunately, blogging does require a little too much brain power for my rather meagre brain. Therefore blogging has become an activity that happens only on odd occasions.

I'm currently coming to the end of what was suppose to be a 3 week holiday in between semesters. However, as most of you would have already guessed by now...Jean didn't have much of a holiday. Over the 3 weeks, I worked a total of 2 weeks full time whilst house sitting the entire time.

I had a great time house sitting. It's the second time I've house sat at this particular house-the first time over last X'mas and New Year. It was really awesome to have my own space and be able to have people round at my own discretion. No parents nagging and I could choose to go home whenever I wanted. Travel time to work was significantly reduced, which made it a lot better.

Besides from working, I did do a lot of eating. Actually...WAY too much eating. I'm going on an official fast when I start back at uni on Monday. The 'foursome', as I call us (myself and 3 other friends from uni enjoy our food a lot), spent a lot of time together over meals-cooked by ourselves or out at restaurants. We also spent quite a lot of time at the place where I house sat just chilling with card games, board games etc. Definitely helped to have stuff to look forward to doing after having been at work.

I also had 2 assignments that were meant to be done over these 3 weeks but they were left to the absolute last minute. Naughty me! I had 4 parts to be done and I must say...I managed to get them all done over 2 days. Not sure how good they are but they got done!

So it's back to uni on Monday and I'm SO looking forward to it. I was quite over holidays after the first week. I know you think I'm crazy but I think we established that a long time ago! We start on our bread module, which will go for about 4 weeks. I'm so excited and can't wait. This term is also the start of competition season for me. I will be competing in the AUT Toque d'Or team. It's a National competition that is being held at the ASB Showgrounds in about 7 weeks time. I am excited yet nervous bout it. I guess the prospect of the competition being 7 weeks away and that we haven't had any training nor have I met my team is rather nerve racking for someone like me.

Hopefully we'll start training the minute we get back. That'll definitely make me feel a little better. I'm gonna try to make it 2 trainings a week as oppose to 1 a week...Sounds like the Jean you know?

These past 2 months have been going a little better for me. I think the trip to Melb early June was something I really needed. And for it to happen despite all the hoops I had to jump through is truly a blessing. I came back from that in higher spirits. I'm definitely still far from feeling 100% but I'm getting there. Let's hope that it only gets better from here.

Melbourne

2007-06-10T13:24:00.001+12:00

It's still rather surreal to think that I was in Melbourne just last weekend. I guess, the thought of me ever being able to head back across the ditch seemed like such a feat. And for it actually happen under such amazing circumstances is, for me, a true miracle.

Since this trip was confirmed, I was bombarded with many questions esp the one that went, "What's it for?". Before the trip, only a handful of people were told as we were told that it was confidential. But now, I can tell then world........

About a month-and-a-half to two months ago, myself and 3 others were privileged enough to be asked to represent AUT and NZ at 2 of the Australian Good Food & Wine Shows-Melbourne & Sydney. And without a doubt, we all said, "YES!".

Basically, it was an all-expenses-paid-for trip across the ditch. We would be employed by Tourism NZ over the 4 days to give them a hand at the shows.

Last year, Tourism NZ took an exhibit to Australia but they did everything themselves, including the food prep. Unfortunately, because they do not normally work with food they got a little too involved in the food prep and in turn their customer relations was compromised. SO they decided to approach AUT to see if they would be interested in working together with them. And I'm sure you know what their answer was...

So the exhibit they took across this year was a slightly revamped version of last year's. The way it was set out was so they it would be like a walk through NZ and sampling wines from the different regions. As you entered the stand, you would pass through Auckland, Hawkes Bay, Wairarapa, Nelson/Marlborough & Waipara Valley/Canterbury. At each stand you would sample the wines from the specific regions and there would be food to accompany the wines.

The food available for sampling were NZ beef, NZ smoked salmon & NZ blue cheese. Each day, we put together approx 6000 pieces of canapes featuring the beef, salmon & blue cheese. I am now officially off blue cheese, smoked salmon & beef for at least the next 2 months! (I used to love 'em all).

So last Thursday, Daniel & I started our day bout 3.30am with last minute packing and off to the airport we went. We checked in at 5.30am and were off the tarmac at 7.30am. We arrived Melb Airport at 9.30am local time and got to the hotel bout 10.45am. It was off to get a quick lunch at a bakery just a few doors up from the hotel. Then it was off to work. Daniel was off to the Sofitel Hotel kitchen with Chef James Thomson and I, to the Exhibition Centre to help with setting up the stand.

At about 3pm, I went back to the Sofitel kitchen to give them a hand with prep-ing for the show as they were running rather behind. I really enjoyed being there and just being to see another hotel's kitchen and to compare it with Sky City's. We finished up bout 6pm and headed back to the hotel we were staying at for a briefing. That finished up about 7.45pm. By that time, Daniel and I were starving and were dying for some food. Though we were extremely exhausted, food was what was on our mind. So we headed up the road to my favourite Vietnamese restaurant. Boy, was it good...

We headed up to Daniel's room, had a nice wind down with a glass of wine each and then bed! By the time we got to sleep it was probably bout 10.30pm Melb time. SO we were up for about 21hrs!!!

The next 3 days went like this: Up at 6am, breakky at 7am and out the hotel door by 8am. We were at the show from 8am to 5pm. On Fri and Sat nite, I caught up with some really good friends and I had a blast. Sunday evening, Daniel & I went to St Kilda and had dinner at Di Stassio. Now, I had some real good meals and some bad ones and Di Stassio falls into the 'bad ones'! (Cuisine Magazine needs to check out their sources and where they get their restaurant reviewers from).

Mon and Tues were probably the most crazy days I had in Melbourne.

I started off Monday with a quick trip up to Melbourne Uni to get mom and dad their much loved uni t-shirts & jumpers. Then it was back to the city to get some bank matter sorted out. That took a little longer than I wanted it to but oh well. I had brunch with Daniel and then I had to nip out to the S.E. suburbs to visit my school.

My second mom, Bronwyn (aka Mrs O), was just classic. (She was my maths teacher in YR 10 & 12 and we got on like a house on fire while I was at PLC. We have kept in touch since and I was always introduced to her friends as her extra daughter). She was ready and waiting at the reception to take me round. It was like I was her long lost daughter and we were seeing each other for the first time. I spent about and hour and a half there. Mrs O made the biggest deal of all that I have been doing and even got my photo taken to be put into the next issue of PLC in Print (the school magazine). It was lovely to see everyone that I wanted to and thought it was extremely rushed I'm glad I did it. And Mrs O, you were so sweet and thanx for the guided tour!

Then it was off to my guardians. I spent the evening with them over dinner that I cooked. It was something that I used to do for them so this was no exception. It went down well, esp with the kids so that was good. The kids can be fussy eaters. After dinner, they dropped me off at BUGS. This was the gym club where I started my coaching career. BUGS is very dear to me and I'm so pleased that to know that I will always have a spot there for me whenever I'm back for good! I was great to see everyone and that BUGS was still going strong.

Tues involved a catch up with Katherine. We headed off to the zoo bout 9.30am and left bout 12.50pm. It was a lovely few hours we spent together catching up and enjoying the animals. Back at the city, we caught up with a friend that we hadn't seen in a long while too. After that quick catch up, we went for lunch at a Thai restaurant near the hotel. Lunch was really good-both food and the company. Then, a mad dash down to the supermarket to get the essentials-Doritos & Kettles chips-and a mad dash back to the hotel to grab my bags and head off to the airport.

We checked-in nice and early and it was another last catch up with another friend that was much like a sister to me while I was at school. So, I made that catch catch up last as long as I could and then I had to go through customs. :(

Off the tarmac we went and arrived back in Auckland At 12.15am on Wed morning! What a crazy trip!

Reflections:
- In many ways, I never left Melbourne. So many things are still there and the same. I still know the city as well as when I left (though I was a little rusty). I still love the place as much as I did.
-But in many ways, so much has changed. The girls I used to coach have all grown up that I didn't recognise them. It took a lot of prompting from the other coached and a lot of concentrating before I realised it was them. Mrs O's younger daughter is now in Yr 12. I remember the day I met her-she was in Yr 6!
-When I do leave, it will be hard-a lot harder then I first thought. Now, Auckland is home. My family is here, support system is here, friends are here, life is here. And without my friends at cession, I don't know where I would be now. But Melb has and will always have a special place in my heart but I know that it will be extremely difficult to say good bye when I do move.

Asia DownUnder

2007-05-28T16:47:00.000+12:00

I've kept this real quiet for a while now coz I think it's rather embaressing and it's been made into a bigger deal than it really is. However, I know that most would disagree with me. And I know that if I didn't say anything, especially to those living offshore, when they eventually found out I'd get a complete bollucking.

So, here goes...If you remember me telling you about dad and myself winning a joint award, our local TV 1 got hold of that story and decided they wanted to feature us on one of their programs-Asia DownUnder. Well, they did the filming last Wednesday and it will be screening this coming Sunday, June 2.

If you are at all interested, tune in to TV 1 @ 8.30am on Sunday. For those not living in NZ, you are able to watch it on their website. If you are watching on the website, give it a few days to a week for them to upload it.

Hope you enjoy it... :)

Melbourne, HERE I COME!

2007-05-12T20:35:00.000+12:00

I'm going!!!! I received a much awaited email on Thursday saying that they have approved my visa application for my trip in 19 days (and counting) time.

I'm so excited...This is truly an answered prayer. Thanx for all your prayers too.

I really can't believe it. It still feels so surreal. Never really thought this day would come.

I don't think it'll hit m til I actually get on that plane and it leaves the tarmac.

It's gonna be an extremely crazy and busy 5 days filled with very very hard work and a truck load of fun! I can't wait...

Now I just have to hang out til May 31...

Celebrating my 100th post with some masterpieces

2007-05-08T21:57:00.000+12:00

I'm half way through my 2nd term at uni and it's been going well. I've been surprising myself with what I am now able to do more and more as we tackle new recipes. Must say, I am definitely a little more patient now when it comes to attempting new pastry recipes.

So to celebrate me finally getting to post number 100, here are some of my latest masterpieces...Enjoy!

My gingerbread house:

Fully iced fruit cake:

Mazipan roses:

Once in a lifetime

2007-04-27T09:14:00.000+12:00

I still can't believe I'm writing this post!

Yesterday, myself and another girl from class were asked to stay back after class coz our lecturer wanted to have a chat with us. My immediate thought was, "Oh crap! What have I done now....". But I was wrong!

We were hand picked by the uni to go to Australia (either Melb or Sydney) for 5 days in June. ***Unfortunately, that is all I can say for now because we have been told it is confidential.

I guess the reason why I am so stoked is the fact that I was hand chosen but also that it is praticaly a free trip! All expeneses paid for-accomodation, flights, meals, transportation even $400 just for helping out. I get a free trip to Melb and an extra one for the year...

However, the only thing stopping me from going is a lovely thing called a visa. As most of you know, I was not allowed back into Asutralia for 3 yrs since the day I left. Even though my 3 yrs are up, there is still this seed of doubt that I may not get it approved. So I would really appreciate your prayers about this...

Aside form really wanting to go back to Melb and see my friends, this trip is also a once in a lifetime opprotunity and may open doors for me for when I eventually head back to Melb to settle.

Off duty

2007-04-24T20:11:00.000+12:00

This has been long time coming. As of May, I am officially relieved from chow duty. I am excited, apprehensive, relief all in one. It's something that has been on the agenda for a while but couldn't really happen as at the time, cession had just made their big move to our own building. And the last thing chow needed was to start from scratch with a leader saying goodbye. So we decided that we would hold off on the decision for me to let go of that position til later.

"Later" eventually came a few weeks back while Melissa, Juanita & I met for a leadership development session for me. It actually happen so quickly that I wasn't really sure if I was comfortable about the decision we made. But since then, I am quite happy with our decision.

I was getting quite over feeling so pressured about chow paperwork each week. The challenge of 'running' chow was gone. It became more of a job. So I guess it was a wise decision.

SO what will I be up to now? I've been put in charge of anything food related for he slightly larger scale events that cession runs-things like Sunday nite cafes and marriage course meals etc etc.

This is probably a little more up my alley. I'm looking forward to a few years of being part of this ministry. After that, we'll see what happens. The first event I have to organise is already fast approaching. No rest for me...beter start planning! :)

Long overdue

2007-04-24T19:16:00.000+12:00

Yes...I have been slack-not updating etc. Unfortunately, I just seem to be getting busier and busier each year. I know that often it is by choice but sometimes I really don't understand how I can be busier and more swamped with paperwork when I seem to not have taken on anymore. ANYHOW...

SO this post is definitely long overdue. About late mid March, I received a rather unexpected call from my Program Leader (AUT) at a very peculiar hour of the day-8pm! I answered the call in a rather worried voice as Glenys informed me that she had a back log of stuff to do and I was on that list of things to do. I'm thinking, "Oh crap! What have I done wrong now to receive a phone call at this hour?!". But much to my surprise, it was actually to inform me that I had won an award for the previous academic year that I was enrolled at AUT. And to add to the surprise...dad won the award too! Yes, we were joint receipients of this award! A first for AUT...

So off I went home and told dad about it. He was quite pleased, too. And her I was thinking that was that and looking forward to the awards ceremony.

Then the next day, I received another call from Glenys saying that news got round AUT and dad and I were making local celebreties of ourselves-AUT communications dept wanted to do a write about dad and I winning this award. So I said ok. I guess it wouldn't do any harm.

Long story short, we had an interview and photos taken. Here are some photos and a link to the article.

*I tried to put on some photos but I think the files were too big to be able to uploaded. I'll try again later. Enjoy the article anyway.

3 years on...

2007-03-29T15:05:00.000+12:00

Boy does time fly...

As of Monday, March 26, I have been in NZ for 3 yrs. I just don't believe it! I made it. I survived, still alive and sane (depending on what your definition of sane is). As of this date too, I am allowed back in Australia!!! Hurray...

I guess, I can't honestly say I have had such a testing year til now. So much has happened and still is happening. I graduated (this I never thought will happen) with a diploma, started working full time, competing at Nationals, finding out that I have a stuffed up tendon and am now back studying full time (glutton for punishment is what you call this!). In the midst of all that, the church I'm part of relocated and we now have our own building. This meant setting up new systems- still an ongoing process of trials and errors, building new relationships with other tenants that share the building, bigger and crazier, more exciting events.

The biggest journey I have been on this last 3 years is the journey of discovery; discovering who I am, why I function the way I function, how to make me a better me, who is God in my life, why is God in my life. I often still don't understand me. But it does amaze me that there are other people around me that get me more than I do. It's like I'm this book that you can read page by page. Hhhmmm....

So how does being a graduate feel? Rather surreal actually. It feels bizarre to be out in the working world. Getting up each day and going to work. When you are little, you seem in so much of a hurry to grow up but when the time comes to do just that you only wish you could turn the clock back. Having said that, it has been good to have started off my career at Skycity. To have that on my CV for future job applications will be of great help. I have learnt a lot through working there and interacting with people who work there.

Being chosen to compete at Nationals was just an amazing experience. Definitely one that I do not regret. Made friends and learnt heaps. What else could you ask for. Gave me a different understanding of competitive cooking, a new found respect. It was a very tiring 3 days of competition, a feeling I had never really experienced before and never have since. Maybe I will feel it again when I compete again...

cession is still going strong. I am still enjoying being part of this community (cession would be the one thing that keeps me from going back to Australia). As I said earlier, we now have a place to call our own. It was a very exciting time. Kinda scary in a way too (for me anyway) but definitely looked forward to. On the chow front, kitchen facilities are at times rather testing but we cope. Creativity and innovative spirit is put to the test. But no matter the situation, the meal still arrives at the servery, piping hot to feed the hungry crowd. Mission accomplished! :)

So how is being back at uni? Good and bad. Good coz I still enjoy learning. I enjoy the different kind of relationship I now have with the lecturers. More like friends than student-lecturer. Good coz I have a new found respect for pastry. I'm not as bad as I was/ I thought I might. Bad coz I am poor again! It's not the same without my old classmates. bad coz I can never switch my brain off. It is constantly running with the million things I have to do. Bad coz I am back to having double digit weeks, with days off few and scarce. Do I regret my choice? No. I'm glad I'm doing what I am doing now.

On another note, the injury to my right thumb tendon is official screwed. I've been on 2 types of anti inflammatories, 1 round of cortisone, (not enough rest), countless physio sessions and we are now looking at surgery! Yea, I'm pissed off and annoyed. I've been in a freaking splint on and off for 10 weeks since end of Oct and then permanently for the last 4 weeks. It is a pain in a butt. Every time I think it's getting better, it doesn't. Just chop me hand off, somebody.....

Anyway, so what does this next year have instore for me? Buggered if I know! I guess, what I hope from it is that my citizenship application goes through (I am yet to finish the application and post it off), make a much needed trip back to Melb to see everyone and do a big catch up, pass uni and probably the most important thing is to know me.

What kind of doughnut are you?

2007-03-12T18:09:00.000+13:00

I found this off Ryan's blog as I was wondering through cyberspace....

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

What is going on?

2007-03-02T09:01:00.000+13:00

I've been putting off writing this post for a little while now. Not because I can't find the time or couldn't be bothered but because it's a hard post to write. I'm not as worried about the big wide world reading about me and my life but more worried about the fact that by the time you finish reading this post, those close to me will know what's been happening in my life over the past few weeks. I guess, it's a case of being afraid to let others near me....

(Advance warning: if you do choose to read on, please do not be offended. It purely reflects me and what's been going on in my head.)

A lot of this may not make much sense but so I can try make sense of things, here goes:

Lately, I've been feeling a strange distance with people. It feels like there's a wall being built around me and it's getting higher and higher, bit by bit everyday. It may well be something I'm doing consciously or unconsciously. It seems very hard trying to connect with others, even feeling rather uncomfortable. Trying to start conversations aren't too successful, they just seem to dissipate into nothing-ness. I'd much rather be on my own, away from crowds.

Last Sunday was the 1st Sunday I'd miss church in a long long time. When it was decided that we where going out for dinner that nite with the family, I was pretty bummed. I don't like missing church and it's so much apart of my Sunday routine that it didn't feel right. But when Sunday came round and we headed out for dinner, I actually really enjoyed being away. A sense of being able to breath again, I guess. A sense of relief, of fresh air...

I'm finding it hard to trust people again. Not that the trust has been abused or they have been in trustworthy but I'm just finding it hard to open up and let people know when I need help or am nor doing too well and just want a chat. Again, this wall.

I guess, being back to uni without my usual bunch of friends is rather surreal. I'm still trying to get used to it. By trying to deal with this, I've just found it easier to make myself this lil box and stay in it.

The frustration of 'searching' for God is ever growing. It just seems the more I look the harder it gets. I often ask myself, "Why bother?". It just feels like I'm back at square 1. All the 'work' and 'effort' I put in before just seems like a waste of time. It all came to nothing...

Runaway Vacation

2007-02-14T16:55:00.000+13:00

At 3.31pm on Friday arvo, I officially finished full time work at Rebo. I was on leave...

On Saturday, the plan was for Becs and I to head down to Tauranga. However, on Fri evening our plans changed in a matter or minutes (10 mins to be exact). The plans went from a day trip to Tauranga to a weekend roadtrip to Tauranga & Taupo with no real plans for accommodation or food except for lunch at a hotel where my friends worked in Tauranga on Saturday.

It was by far the craziest thing I'd ever decided to do in such a short period of time!

So we set off towards State Highway 1 at 10.15am. It was mostly a pleasant drive to Tauranga via Matamata. The first leg of the trip (to Matamata) took about 3hrs. After a quick dunny stop and getting ourselves a map we headed towards Tauranga. That took another hour or so.

I really enjoyed lunch. It was great to have a catch up with my uni mates after such a long time. Unfortunately the rain decided to join us and we had to make a quick dash into the dining hall as we were sitting on the deck enjoying the 5 mins of sun.

We got a quick tour of the kitchen and the rest of the hotel and then I bid adieu to my friends and we headed towards Taupo. Now...neither Becs nor I expected this drive to take 2 whole hrs!!! We seriously thought it would only take half that time. Oh well...It was still a great time we had together.

As we drove my 'Sponge bob' into Taupo, we headed to a backpackers that Becs knew about in hopes for a spare room for the nite. Unfortunately, (we kinda expected it) they were booked out. Our next plan of action was pretty much walk into any backpackers that we next came across and see if thy had any spare rooms. WE got lucky this time. The next one we walked into said "Sure! We have 1 room left". So we made the necessary payments and 'moved' in for the nite.

After settling in, we headed for the waterfront in search of our next meal. As we strolled down the street, I spotted a very flash looking bottle shop called Scenic Cellars, Trinity Hill and as you'd imagine I dragged Becs in so that I could have a nice look around. I was extremely impressed! Their range was just absolutely fab-the French, Italian & local wines were just absolutely top of the range. However, I did sense Becs' boredom starting to really boil so I asked what time they closed and said I'd come back later.

So we continued on our search for the nite's grub. We passed many cafes, pub restaurants and restaurants. Most didn't tickle our fancy but we eventually settled on Thai. Dinner was lovely-one of the better Thai meals I've had. I generally find most Thai meals here way too sweet and the main flavours drown by the sweetness. As an end result...a confused meal-was that the main course or dessert?

Anyhow....after dinner, it was a lovely stroll down the other side of the road by the actual waterfront. We took some photos:

As the sun sets...

As we took the last few photos we wanted, I dragged Becs back into the bottle shop. This time, I went in asking for exactly what I wanted; a bottle of Sauterne & a bottle of Chianti Classico. Having just rattled off this, sounding like I really knew what I was talking about we were taken down to the cellar. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I'm so glad dad said to get these wines....It was beautiful! It was split levelled and probably twice the size of the Depot if it were all combined and made into 1 level. It smelled of the wooden boxes that the wines came packaged in, just gorgeous. And the selection got better as we walked down the stairs. I was in heaven-well not literally but you get my drift. We spent another good 30mins down there as the sales lady showed me a few other bottles. The Sauterne was a definite but I was undecided on the red. Alas, after much debating with myself, I decided on a bottle of Brunello & a bottle of Nebbiolo.

I sensed that Becs' excitement levels were continuing to dwindle so up we went back up the stairs to the cashier and paid. Then it was off to the scenic lookout for a few more photos.

Sunset in Taupo...

This, we just had to take. How can you not?

The rest of the nite was pretty low key. It was back to our room, 2 rounds of Rummikub and then we hit the sack at 9.30pm. I was knackered! Having done majority of the driving, I was definitely ready for bed at 9.30pm.

The next day, we were up about 8am. Had a shower and packed. We were out of the backpackers bout 8.45am and headed to the bungy area for a nice morning stroll and more photos.

At 9am on a Sunday morning, who would have thought that there were people crazy enough to bungy off this platform?! But we witnessed it...

After our stroll, we headed back to the waterfront for brekkie. It was a plate each of pancakes, fried eggs, bacon & hash browns with a glass of juice and a coffee. Not a bad brekkie. Sure lasted us a LONG while.

It was back on the road and towards Huka Falls after the huge brekkie. It was my first time to the falls and it was a bummer that we couldn't stay longer to do some of the walks. Oh well, there's always next time. I truly love the sounds of water breaking, beit on the beach or at the falls. We were also graced with the presence of the jet boats.

The rapids as they slowly head for the edge and become the Falls

Huka Falls

Huka jets

All adventures must come to an end and this was ours. We both had to get back in time for church commitments so this trip was short. SO we headed back up State Highway 1 towards Auckland. We did make some stops along the way for petrol (Putaruru) and to replenish our famished souls (Hamilton). We arrived safe and sound back in Auckland about 4pm-ish.

All in all, a great lil' adventure. Would I do it again? HELL YEA! Still by far the craziest thing i have ever done but dare I say, I had a blast...So, thanx Becs for the great idea.

An evening at Long Bay

2007-01-20T18:31:00.000+13:00

Last nite, Rebecca and I headed to Long Bay beach for fish & chips. It had been a long while since I was last at Long Bay and it is def my favourite beach. We had a lovely dinner and relaxing evening to end my working week...

Our fish & chips dinner from the local takeaway joint in Torbay.

These sea gulls decided to grace us with their presence & sing to us. We even received an encore!

As the sun sets....

A post of sorts

2007-01-12T21:18:00.000+13:00

My first official post of the New Year....I've been pretty slack with postings lately. Oh well....wouldn't be the first time! Anywayz, so what's been the haps?

X'mas eve service was a rather quiet affair as most of the community had already headed away for their holiday or had family get-togethers. The highlight of the service would definitely have to be smelling the fresh bread cooking away in the corner with the intent of using it for communion. However, it didn't work and we had chocolate as a substitute......

The following week included working both stat days and moving to Sandringham to house sit. For 2 weeks, I had an entire 2 bedroom Victorian house to myself. A lovely backyard ready with rows of lettuce, herbs & fruit for me to harvest and have for many dinners to come. A magnificent kitchen filled with an awesome larder and well stashed cupboard with good equipment. The lounge decked out with a plasma screen. This was all mine for 2 whole weeks. Oh, and it was only 10 mins from work! It was fab to be able to get home before 4.15pm. I had never had that treat before. No traffic too!

I left today to head back home to my parents. I will definitely miss having a place to call my own. I wasn't quite sure just how much I'd enjoy being alone but I must say, I HAD A BLAST! It was great just to have my own space, esp after a long mad day at work. I'm gonna find it hard to be back at home again but I'm sure I'll cope...So if anyone needs a house sitter, I'm offering my services!!! :)

As for what I was up to for New Year's, I pulled an extra long shift on New Year's Eve only to get 4 hrs sleep and head back to work again the next morning. I didn't get a sleep in til the following Sat as I was on morning shifts. It was a hard week but hey...the pay cheque looked good.

As I count the weeks down, we are getting closer and closer to Feb 19. The day I start back at uni! I'm really looking forward to it...(as I'm sure you already know. Sorry to bore you). It's also getting closer to the week I'm' taking off from work before I head back to uni. I've got many fun things planned already but it does include a cortisone jab to start the week off though.

It has come the point where I need to get the jab coz my wrist just isn't getting better. Hopefully I won't be in too much pain!

For the past 2.5 months I have been rostered on what dad and I call 'honeymoon' shifts-Mon to Fri, 7am-3.30pm. Why honeymoon? Because these shifts are virtually non-existent to any chef in the industry esp for a commi....I've been really stoked to have all my nights & weekends free but above all, it's just been great to be in a routine and be able to plan ahead! I'm glad I've been able to prove myself to deserve these shifts. Let's hope it stays this way til I start uni. That'll be brilliant!

Well, I'm not one that likes New Year's resolutions...actually I hate them! Who ever achieves/keeps to the resolutions made?! Probably close to no one!!!! But I don't mind the idea of having some things in mind to aim towards; more like goals. So here are some of mine for the year:

Get back into some sort of routine with scripture reading and other reading. I've been falling seriously behind since starting full time work. Just being so tired physically and mentally, the last thing I want to do is read.
Get active! Again, due to full time work I have had no motivation (apart from the ever increasing kilos) to go for walks or runs or swims. At the moment, I'm looking into some dance classes but before that trying to fit in at least 1 run/walk a week.

SO here's to 2007.....Let it be an awesome year!

New Look

2007-01-10T19:40:00.000+13:00

I finally got round to changing things round on my blog. I know it is still a little bare....In time, I'll get it back up to scratch.

Til then.....

Meanderings

2006-12-09T17:18:00.000+13:00

It's been a long while since I last posted...I know, I'm bad at updating and shouldn't hassle others about not updating too.

Life as a full time chef is finally starting to become more acceptable (for lack of better word)-the lack of structure in rosters, unsociable hours, ridiculous demands on the body due to lack of sleep & proper nourishment......bla bla bla and the list goes on. I am still getting used to it and am in a constant state of knackered-ness but I'm slowly coming to terms with the nature of the industry.

About a month ago, I finally dragged my rear end to a physio to find out what was wrong with my thumb/wrist. It had been sore (& occasionally really painful) for a good few months but I thought it'd go away after while and I was just getting used to full time work. But it never went away and got worse. So it was off to the physio, then to a GP to get ACC. Since then, after a heap of forms to fill in (this is coz I am an accredited employee-way too many procedures to go through!), I finally got my claim approved. That's the good news. The bad news is there is a high chance of my needing to get cortisone injections!!! I'm not looking forward to those but if it doesn't get any better soon it's not a choice. In the mean time, I'm working in a constant state of sore-ness....

I don't regret the career path I have chosen despite all the negatives of the job. I still remember the sense of familiarity I felt on my first day of work and that is what gets me out of bed each day despite how tired I feel. I enjoy the challenge of a busy service-docket machine screaming at a rate of 1 docket per second, the head chef calling out the dockets at the top of his lungs, each chef from his/her various sections trying to gage how far away the others are so that all the food from every section can come up at once for a certain table. This rush can go on for anywhere between 5 mins and 2 hrs at a time. As the rush dies down, this is the calm before the storm, we catch our breath before the next hit comes and it starts again.

As we head into the festive season, the level of busyness increases and so do the stress levels of everyone else. I am both looking forward to it as well as not looking forward to it. The bad thing is that our work load has doubled and tripled so that we are always on top of things and not running out of food but the good thing is that there will be no time for thumb-twiddling and that I am that much closer to heading back to full time study!

Yes...only 10 weeks and 1 day to go before I start back at uni. I'm very much looking forward to it-the structured weeks/months/years and ability for me to plan ahead. It'll be a cruisee 2 yrs of study because I have papers that I am able to cross credit from my previous course plus I have knowledge from that too. So I am going in armed rather than aimless...I feel good about it. I hope I'll still be saying the same when I start-do remind about this when I am moaning and complaining about going back to study!

Something that I am exceptionally bad at is keeping a routine with my bible reading. I'm sure I'm not the only one but that's no excuse. However, on the odd occasion I get my A into G, I have been working my way (though rather slowly) through Philippians. A verse that as been playing through my head over and over again (this doesn't happen often, so I figured I should take notice of it) is Philippians 2:3. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Well...when I was reading this verse many thoughts raced through my head. I figured it is a pretty straight forward verse-be nice to others, don't walk round with a big head, be humble, do things for the betterment of others. That's all good and I get that but the bit that stuck in my head most of all is "but in humility consider others better than yourselves".

The bible is so often taken out if context and this verse is no exception. Of course you shouldn't walk around with your nose in the air with a big head and thinking you're all that. However, it's easy for someone like me to take that verse and do what I do-constantly put yourself down. When do we cross the line of being humble to putting ourselves down? When is considering others better than you become self destructive? Nothing I do is ever good enough, it can always be better. Even when 'perfection' has been achieved, it's still not good enough. I rarely say I am happy with what I produce and when I do no one knows quite how to handle it...

Something I need to work on is to be happy with what I have done/produce. Maybe not just happy or satisfied but proud of what is. I know it won't be easy, it's something that other have been helping me work at and we are progressing-though rather slowly.

For the love of study

2006-11-02T10:35:00.000+13:00

This must be the epitomy of my madness! So...there has been an opportunity for a promotion coming and I found out about it a week ago. It is for the next rank up (Demi chef) from the one I'm currently at(Commi chef) and promotion includes a pay rise too. When I found out about this, I kinda dropped hints about wanting it-not so much for the money but more for the recognition for the amount of work I do. But at the time, he didn't seem like he was going to nominate me for that position to the Exec chef so I just left it as is.

Last nite, the head chef approached me and asked if I was still going back to study next year and I gave him an adament 'yes'. And I then found out that I was going to get the promotion had I not decided that I'm going back to uni.

So I'm a little bummed....

I can still decide to not go to uni and get a promotion instead but I think studying is something I really want to do at this stage. But some prayers on this subject would be great appreciated.

Breaking news!!

2006-10-20T02:19:00.000+13:00

Yes, I'm heading back to AUT next year for another 2 years. Term commences on Feb 19, 2007.

So what will I be studying? Well........wait for it...................

DIPLOMA IN PATISSERIE

Crazy isn't it?! But then again, what's new? It is Jean we're talking about, remember?

The birthday that was...

2006-10-16T23:37:00.000+13:00

So I celebrated my 21st birthday a couple of Saturdays ago. The actual day was pretty shocking-having had to work the graveyard shifts that weekend plus heading to the Mercy work straight from work. That weekend was a nightmare, surviving 3 days with a mere 12hrs sleep! Oh well, we got through it.

But I took Monday off to go to the NZ Culinary Fare & Hospitality show. It was a great day with dad-catching up with some people that I met while in Wellington and just being able to be a spectator rather than a competitor. I did miss the competition excitement though...Then later that evening, I spent the nite over dinner with the Jones', Snell's, Megs & Becs @ Molten. So that was more of a birthday day than my actual birthday. It was good.

Dinner was beautiful...I'll try and get some photos up soon.

So what's been happening? I've been extremely busy at work-pulling a double shift this pass Thursday so I could get my Sunday nite off. Not sure if I'd do it again though! But it was worth it just so I could get my Sunday off.

I'm still very busy with paper work for chow. It's not a bad thing but it does get a little overwhelming at times, esp when I'm exceptionally tired from work and just don't have the brain capacity to cope with having to sit in front of the computer for a few hours. But it still is enjoyable and rewarding for the most part.

I've been doing some thinking (shock! horror!) about what I want to do next year. At the moment, flatting is quite high on the agenda. I have people to do it with and everything. However, there are some serious thoughts of going back to uni to study Pastry. And with the Diploma I currently have, I'm eligible to go straight into 2nd yr Diploma in Patisserie. If I do so, the flatting option goes out the window coz i won't have enough $$ to be able to afford it. I'm still undecided at the moment....

Having said that, I'm having brunch with Alan (my lecturer/trainer) and Arno (trainer for pastry) this weekend @ Bracu, located in Bombay. So I'll definitely be having a good chat with them about whether or not it's a good idea for me to head into 2nd Pastry. I'll only do it if I can get into 2nd yr. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to brunch. Bracu is said to have great food and is situated next to olive groves. So it should be a delicious & beautiful day...

So if I head back to uni next yr, I'm seriously contemplating competing in NZ Culinary Fare in the Toque D'Or category. It's a highly prized addition to the CV and should be a blast. What's even better is it's a team event-so hopefully a little less scary. But we'll see...I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself.

Well, I think that's about all that's been happening in the mad life of Jean. Til the next installment...

Lessons of survival

2006-10-06T14:32:00.000+13:00

Amidst of the hustle and bustle of the Rebo kitchen, I was tucked away in a corner cleaning some mussels that were needed for service that nite. While stuck with the tedious and lonesome job of mussel cleaning, my thoughts started to drift from getting the mussels cleaned in time to the various events in my life over the past week.

Recently, I've been feeling really overwhelmed. What with? Work, ministry, life at home & just life in general. And as Melissa puts it, "You seem to be back in that high stressed state". Well, she's not wrong!

From these 'events' that have been happening, there have been many lessons learnt-both new & old. So what are they?

If I'm the absolute crap, I can't shut people out no matter how hard I try. It's when I need to let people in most. However, when I do so, I've noticed the hurt that results in my actions. It's not pleasant-for anyone. So how do I solve this prob? On to lesson number 2...
Learn to let people in-esp those to care. But how do I do that when my trust for other is rather limited for fear of getting hurt? I was once advice by a very wise man, that the only way to learn to trust again is to trust...A viscous cycle, isn't it?
Communicating is lesson number 3. And by doing so, I guess I'm aiding lesson number 2. I'm not very good with letting other know how I'm feeling. I generally brush it off by putting on a big smile and saying, "I'm great, and how bout you?!". It's just the easiest way of avoiding having to face the issues I'm having to deal with.
When most people greet you with "Hi, how are you?", when is "I'm fine" an ok answer to give and when is it a lie? My dear friend Katherine and I once had a chat about this...When someone who genuinely cares about you asks if you are ok and you say you are great when you are not, what does that say about you and the relationship you have with that person? if you love that person enough, shouldn't you allow them to be there for you when they are offering a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent your frustrations? How would you feel if you were in the other person's shoes...trying to help but continuously being pushed away and left wondering what they real prob actually is?

So, it hasn't been an easy pass few weeks. But thanx to those who have put up with my antics ( you know who you are), I've been coping better. Thanx for being you, for being there and still being there despite me being crazy, mad me...I really appreciate it.

3rd place/exceptions/tolerance

2006-09-26T18:46:00.000+12:00

So I'm back from a week in Windy Wellington. It was a good experience and I would go through it all over again- but maybe not til next year! It was stressful and absolutely draining but fun. After a 3 day cook-off, I managed a bronze medal. Yea, I'm pleased but not stoked...I really wanted to win it. However, I knew gold was out of the question after day 3 was over so I was only wanting to place.

It's taken a while for the brain to recover; yesterday was hard! Even driving was a mission, it required A LOT of concentration. I'm coping better today. So I'm back to work tomorrow. *groan* Unfortunately, I'm back to nite shifts. That does suck but not as much as being rostered on for a Sunday nite! I'm really annoyed by that so hopefully I'll be able to sort it out when I get back tomorrow.

A few things have cropped up since being back from Nationals and it's caused me to reflect on the exceptions (or lack of) that we make and level of tolerance we have for others. (I'm not going to elaborate on what it was that happened that brought upon this reflection coz there is no need to. )

How do we determine who are the people in our lives that receive more grace than others? What makes them more special or deserving? Is it because they have shown us the level of tolerance that we show them, if not more? Or is it because we crave acceptance from the other party(s)? What is it that drives us to crave that acceptance when that really isn't all that important in the wider scheme of things?

Some things to ponder on...

SkillEx Nationals

2006-09-17T22:49:00.000+12:00

Well....2 days to go before I fly down country to the capital for 5 days. Why? I'm the Auckland representative for the Cookery category in NZ's Largest Trade Skills competition. I'm heading down with 17 other competitors from other trades + judges & chaperones.

It's both an exciting and nerve racking time for me. I'm stoked to have won the Regionals and qualify for Nationals. But I am also really nervous-coz there is a certain sense of the unknown (that I don't handle well) as well as expectation (both from myself & my lecturer).

Competing at Nationals isn't just a competition for 1st, 2nd or 3rd place, it is a competition to qualify for the Worlds. A chance to compete against the rest of my peers from the rest of the world. A chance to compete at an international level.

I want to win Nationals not to say that I'm better than everyone else and that they suck. I want to win it for the sole purpose of wanting to compete overseas to see what others are doing outside of NZ. To see where I stack up against others my age, those that I will be in competition with in 5-10 yrs time when we start owning our own businesses. And just the experience of being able to go overseas and compete.

So this last few days leading up to Wednesday are all a bit insane-trying to pack for the comp but also trying to organise the week after I get back. It'll be stressful but hopefully I don't drive myself silly coz I really want to do well and win over the 3 days of competitions.

No doubt I will be making some phone calls and sending many txt messages while I'm away. I'll be needing the support and company (even if it's via technology and not in person). I won't see many of you for a good 2 weeks, so I'll let you know how it goes when I get back.

house sitting/weird week/sneaky friends/new series

2006-09-04T18:07:00.000+12:00

It's been about 2.5 weeks now that I've been house sitting for the Jones' with Rebecca. I'm totally loving it! Another 1.5 weeks to go. What I enjoy most is having a space of my own (even if it's only for a little while). I guess the only thing stopping me from moving out of home at the moment if the almighty $$$. Oh well...Hopefully by next year it'll happen.

The past week has been much of a non-week, thus making is weird. It has been exceptionally quiet at work, even on Fri nite, which is our busiest nite! On Monday, I had my hair done. The lovely Katie came by for dinner and then we spent the rest of the nite in front of the TV doing my hair. Tues nite was spent catching up with some uni mates over dinner in Mission Bay. It didn't end so well when we had to send one of the cars to the doctor! So it was one car between Ian & I for 4 days!!! Man, was that annoying...Anyhow, Wed was a typically long 17ish hour day which started at 5am for work and ended at 10pm ish after heading home from training at uni. Thursday was a nite of 'getting straight & dealing with reality' for Jean at Melissa's. It was that nite that I was given the official ban from any work-including cession related matters-on Saturdays. I tried so hard to weasel my way out of that but it was never gonna work. Worth a try though...Then it was up early Friday morning for training and then straight to work til 12am! Another long day. Saturday was another early morning (there goes my one sleep in a week) for training and then a nice evening at the Powell/Ritchie's for their house warming. I didn't do any work or cession related matters......Except for one illegal txt! :D I forgot and it needed to be done so, I did it.

It doesn't sound like much of a non-week for most people does it? But it was for me. Not so much that I was still running round trying to get things done despite not having enough time but more in the sense that there was no major dramas, esp comparing the past week with a couple of weeks ago.

Which brings me to Sunday...Boy, do I have very thoughtful, lovely but extremely sneaky friends! This Sunday was my rostered Sunday on worship as well as chow. However, at 1.30pm on Sunday, I received a call from one half of the Powell's to say that they are giving me a nite off so I need not worry bout trying to work round other stuff to be able to sing. Then they suggested that I give those who were on chow duty to say that I wouldn't be there til 5.30pm. Me being me, I politely agreed but at the same time trying to see how I could get out of this little plan of theirs. So we hung up and then started battling with myself about whether or not I was going to give in to the Powell's or say "stuff them and I'm going to church early".

Agreeing with the Powell's plans meant that I had to make a bunch of phone calls to a whole bunch of people so that they could pick stuff up from me coz I was gonna take it all with me when I headed down early. And I knew that that would cause me some amount of anxiety.

But despite my natural instincts, I decided I'd give in to the Powell's scheming and make the phone calls I needed to make to organise a nite off for me. And it was rather stressful at times but I can proudly say that I handled it better this Sunday than I would have 6 months ago. So after stuff got picked up, I headed out for coffee with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. (I had to some how occupy my time or I would have gone insane, literally!). After that I headed off to church and arrived at 5.15pm. It was hard enough getting there at 5.15pm so I wasn't gonna try and make myself be late. And the rest of tea nite involved me fighting the urge to help out. I even left before any cleaning up was completed!

So this weekend was the first real weekend off Jean has had in many years. It was hard giving in to someone else attempting to organise my life but if they didn't do it, I wouldn't have had time off. I would continued chugging.

Which brings me to our current series that is running at cession: Winter Spirituality. This has been a tough series for me-dealing with the issues of life & God when you are in the absolute pitts. Rather timely for me considering my current frame of mind and the haps of the past month. Each nite has seen me in tears, trying to deal/face with what I'm going through at the moment. The first nite I was able to bring myself to take communion but I haven't been able to since. Why? I don't know...Maybe coz I don't want to admit that I need help. Maybe I don't' want to allow God to weep with me. maybe I can handle it myself and it'll sort itself out eventually. Maybe even if He can see the pain I'm in, why not just make it easier for me.....?

I guess these questions are what make the current series so hard for me. I very often have mental arguments with God bout what is going on around me. And most of the time I think that if He just did what I said He should do, it'll all be fine an dandy. But obviously it never happens coz I apparently don't see the bigger picture and don't know any better.

but how are you supposed to know any better when you feel like crap, the whole world seems to be against you and life just seems so unfair? Is it fair to reason with a person in that mental state? Will they even hear you out to start with? If they do, how often will you get a well thought out, rational response?

When you are in the right frame of mind and thinking rationally, you know that things eventually work out, that they happen or a reason, that you work through the had times, you have friend around you etc etc etc. But don't you doubt that sometimes? Even just a little?

Just some random thoughts running through my mind while I'm in this transition stage of crappiness to numbness to trying to resume normality.

A rough patch

2006-08-20T09:46:00.000+12:00

So I've been slack with updating.....

At the moment, I'm in recovery mode from a really really rough patch. The past 3 weeks have been weeks from hell for me. Though it hasn't been good for me emotionally, mentally and physically there has been 1 good thing that resulted from it: I discovered just how vulnerable and weak I can be.

Before I started full time work, I would go for days on end without stopping. It started with 12 days, then 32 days and eventually 53 days of constant madness. I coped fine juggling uni, coaching, work and ministry. I thought I could handle anything after that. Since starting work, I have had at least 1 day off every week with the exception of the pass 3 weeks. I think I would have coped fine if not for the extra things that I have had to handle. Unfortunately, there came a point where I couldn't take it anymore-I had to let off steam.

I tried to put it off over and over again. Constantly telling myself that it'll be fine and that I can handle anything. But I couldn't. So I did the unthinkable; I picked up the phone, dialed a number (while hoping that the person I was calling wouldn't pick it up so I didn't actually have to go through with letting off some steam) and that special someone picked up the phone! It was hard for me to do that. Can't say that I felt any better at the time but maybe it may make it easier next time.

Two-and-a-half years on, I now have people around me that I consider true friends. And I have found it somewhat easier to let off steam/vent. These friends would bear the brunt of my frustration. So, it's led me to wonder...

Do you become weaker, less tolerant, more vulnerable when you have a support system around you?
Is it a good thing that you are now less tolerant of life's stresses? If so or not so, why?
As an introvert and someone who seems to have it all together/perfectionist, how do you tell someone that you are not ok?
Is it fair on your friends if you don't keep them in the know when you need help most? How would you feel if you were on the other end of the stick?

Being sick & alone sux!

2006-07-31T22:53:00.000+12:00

I was having a bit of a battle with myself about whether or not I should write this post but I thought I should....

Have you ever been sick and have had no one available to either pamper you or just be there for you? I have. Every year that I was in the boarding house, I'd have to come down with the mandatory illness that would put me out of action for a few days. This landed me in the sick bay, quarantined from school, friends and even 'my own' bed/room. During these times would be when I wanted mom and dad most but that obvioiulsy was never an option as they were a few million kilometers away.

So when I received a call from Melissa on Friday nite sounding not so well and home alone, I was on the road heading towards Paihia Rd without any hesistations. I did this coz I know how much it sucks to be on your own when you are sick. I did this coz I love Melissa. I did it coz I wanted to. Nothing in return expected, even a thank you (not saying I didn't appreciate the thank yous, though).

In saying that, the thank yous were flowing like a river from the time I arrived (from Melissa) til Sunday nite at church (from Jacob & again, Melissa). However, it didn't stop at thank yous...I was presented with an AMAZING bottle of wine as a thank you present! I was, and still am, so incredibly overwhelmed. Above all else, what I appreciated most was the phone call itself. So, from me to the Powell's, THANK YOU! I am very grateful for our friendship.

I've had some time to process the last message from our latest series: Upside Down Religion on sacrifice. For me, leaving Melb-the city I love filled with friends I made and a life I miss dearly, is a sacrifice. When I made that decision to leave, it was hard. Only having just left my home country just 3 yrs before that was what made the decision to leave Melb the hardest. I didn't want to have to start over again. So I made a pack with God, that He surrounded me with friends, true friends.

I'm very glad to say that He has kept His end of the deal. Moving has actually turned out to be a great experience of learning what true friendship is about, learning to trust again, learning who God really is and what He is all about. I often still resent the fact that I had to leave Melb and come here but when I remember the friends I have, their impact on my life thus far...it reminds me that this tiny sacrifice I made is nothing compared to what He has done for me on the cross and the promise He kept.

SIR-loin

2006-07-31T22:46:00.000+12:00

Here's a little piece of food trivia......

Why is the cut of beef known as sirloin called what is it and just plain ole loin on every other animal?

Well, believe or not, this cut of meat was actually knighted! One nite, over dinner, there was a certain Lord that loved this particular cut of meat so much that, in his drunken state, knighted the cut. Thus we now have a cut of meat known today as SIRloin.

TV, ain't my cuppa tea

2006-07-22T10:22:00.000+12:00

I got the much expected call while at work yesterday evening re the TV gig that I auditioned for a while back. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. They decided to go with someone else. Those were her exact words. Oh well...I'm not too fussed. At least I have one thing less to worry about trying to fit into my crazy work schedule.

Having said that, I start on my new roster next week!!!!! 7am-3.30pm Mon-Thurs. How awesome is that?! I even got the WHOLE weekend off. I'm so stoked. I have all my evenings off and a weekend. Which means, I'm not gonna miss out on weddings (sorry Juanita), leadership training, cell grp, coaching gym, church, a social life etc etc etc. And it'll be much easier for me to plan my week and fit in the many meetings that I attend rather than only being able to plan them on Fridays. YAY!

I had my first comp training the other day and it was good. We didn't cook anything but it was still very productive. We worked on skills that day and I turned 3 beetroots, 3 carrots, chopped 2 shallots & 1 onion. It was good. This may not mean a thing to you but 'turning' vegetables is a skill that is not taught much anymore so it is slowly getting lost. But when in competitions, you wanna be able to do it to show that you have skill. The more skill you have, the more points you're gonna get.

surviving/promotion/jealousy

2006-07-18T10:22:00.000+12:00

Full time work has been an interesting experience so far. What made it interesting is not the job but more the transition from full time student to full time working woman.

I miss the certainty of a timetable; what my day is going to look like each week for the next 6 months and the rest of my life planned out based on my timetable. I miss the class room environment, where mistakes are not gonna get you in too much trouble-no unexpected clipping of the back of your head when you don't do something right the first time. I miss knowing everyone (maybe not everyone but you get my drift) I pass by in the corridor. I miss the sense of familiarity of a place that has been my second home for the pass 2 yrs.

All these things I miss about the last 2 yrs has made the adjustment a little stressful and overwhelming for me. Having said that, it hasn't all been bad though.

Granted, I don't get my roster for the following week til Friday and I don't have set working days or hours. Yes, that really gets to me especially being one to have my life planned out months in advance. But such is life and I just have to go along with it.

At the moment, the thing that I find extremely draining is the hours I do. They aren't all bad but they aren't all great either. Last week and this week, my hours have been 3-11.30pm, 4 days a week. Yea, I get a sleep in (kinda. I still get up at 9am-ish) but I don't get to sleep til 2am! That is by far the hardest part of the job. I'm surviving but it's not without it's consequences.

When I'm tired, I'm a lot less patient with people. I get really annoyed and sometimes can be very short and cutting. So that's not cool when I'm in a ministry that is very people oriented. My ministry is not just what I do at cession but my everyday life is a ministry too. My main job is not as a chef but is to reflect Christ and it gets tricky when I'm tired & having to be Christ to those that I work with.

In short, I'm coping but not such how much longer for...

I'm hoping that it won't be too much longer. Last nite after I finished up at work, I stayed back for a chat with my Sous chef. He's wanting to change the way the roster works at the moment. This means that there is an opportunity to work set hours and set days! And I've been offered that spot. If it all works out, I'll be working 5 days a week from 7am-3ish pm. No set days as yet but the hours are looking good. I'm no morning person but I much prefer working days than I do nites. It gives me the freedom of a social life.

But with this promotion comes a possible down side-jealousy within the work place. Now see, this new position that I will be taking on is a position where someone that is reliable is needed. Someone with some sense of urgency and common sense. (I'm not blowing my own horn here, just stating fact.) And for my Sous to offer that spot to me (a newbie) and not some of the other chefs who have been around much longer can get a little tricky. They all know that I used to work for my Sous and so there is a possibility that they may see this as favouritism.

I'm trying to not let this get to me but it is at the back of my mind.

A post of many thoughts

2006-07-12T18:40:00.000+12:00

The past 3 weeks have been interesting; good but interesting. In those 3 weeks, I was willing to take some risks thus resulting in a few 'first' moments:

It's the first time I was adamant about making sure I took a holiday. Granted I did have some help from across the ditch but many of times, dad and my new boss would give me grief about saying no when I got asked to start work earlier.
It was the first time I said "No" despite constantly badgering.
It was the first time I didn't touch or look or consult my diary about what I was doing. There were many occasions that I was spontaneous about what I was doing.
I took my first trip out of Auckland since moving to NZ.
It was the first time I invited the Dunn's round for dinner. I tend to invite the same people all the time.

I'm sure that there are a few more 'firsts' but I'll move on...

I had a fantastic time with Kath while she was here. It was nice to hang out and spend time with her again after 2 yrs. We didn't get as much done as I would have liked but better than not doing anything at all. It was great for her to finally put names to faces and for everyone here to meet the person I constantly talk about. Kath, they all loved you and enjoyed having you around. Thanx for a great holiday!

There are many occasions where I get really frustrated with people. But the one time that it gets to me most is when I see the same people doing the dirty work over and over again. And though I may not be very vocal about a lot of things, I am when it comes to this particular topic. Many people close to me have had to bare the brunt of my ventings. Sometimes, I psyche myself up and ask others but often I just end up with a big slap and am left wondering why the hell I even bothered asking in the first place.

So where am I going with this? At the most recent leaders' training, we talked about team work and possible bottle necks the we may encounter, both as a team and individually. And for me, I had a rather large list of bottle necks from the list we created as a team. But the one thing I struggle with most is the issue of trust. I do have a past where people have not always been very kind to me, so I am very suspicious/skeptical/non-trusting etc etc of people. For me to even put this out here is scary....I don't make it easy for people to know me. I always put on a front that says, "I'm great!". I never let anyone know I need help.

But I guess, it's true that they say, "If you ever need anything done, ask the person that is already busy coz they will always make time to fit it in". Sad...but true.

I know it's something I need to work on. Not everyone is mean or has bad intentions. Not everyone is out to hurt me on purpose.

A nice flow over from that...During the 3 week break I had, I have a lot to be grateful for. The friends I have made at cession have been very patient in teaching me to learn to trust again. They threw me a celebratory party for finishing uni. I just thought that was so awesome. It's something that I would have wanted to do but would have never asked for it. I had a great time and thanx, again....

Also part of this topic on celebrations is friends. I just feel so blessed to have so many people around me I can call friends. It's been so great to achieve all I have achieved, gone through all I have been through and grown as much as I have with the help of these people around me. Your patience and love has meant a lot to me. I couldn't and wouldn't have done without you. (You know who you are so I'm not gonna name names incase I miss someone and people get annoyed.)

Something else to celebrate is my all-expense-paid-for trip to Wellington in late September! I wasn't even too keen on competing in Regionals anyway and I only did it coz I couldn't say no to my lecturer. Winning is always part of the goals, but I wasn't expecting it in a million years. So to have won Regionals and made it to Nationals just blew me away. I was SO stoked to have got through! I'm away from Sep 20-Sep 24 for this competition.

We started a new series at cession last Sunday called Upside Down Religion. We explored the issue of weakness and what it meant to be weak. Being weak does not mean you have to be a push over. It does not mean that you don't know what you stand for and can be manipulated. Jesus was often seen to be weak but not in the manner that we may think. He was never a push over or was he ever manipulated or not know what he stood for. Being weak means that you are able to humble yourself enough to ask for help when you need it. It means being able to be open and honest about the good, the bad and the ugly when it requires you to do so. It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable and cry like a baby on a shoulder that has been offered to you.

This is something else I struggle with. I guess it goes hand in hand with trust. I worry about what others might think if I am not my usual crazy self. Or if I am not in control of every situation I get myself in. This is nothing new and is definitely an area where I am constantly being challenge.

Here's an attempt at being weak: So I started work this week. I am not gonna lie to you and say that I was totally sweet and went all out and took to the challenge like duck to water. I was petrified, crapping bricks if you like. On Sunday nite, my mind was everywhere-thoughts running through my head at a million miles per hour. Then Monday morning, adrenalin was moving fast and the heart was beating even faster. The drive to work was complete agony and the butterflies in my stomach felt so real that they were flying so hard they could have flown through me! As much as I wanted someone to know, I found it really hard to tell anyone. I wanted to get it off my chest but couldn't. What was I afraid off? Maybe that no one would understand. Maybe I feared rejection. Who knows...

So how did work go? Well, after the initial stressing it went as well as it could have for a first timer/newbie. (I'm trying not to hate myself to much when I make the necessary first timer/newbie mistakes.) As the day progressed, I was overcome by a strange sense of familiarity and peace. Once I was shown how things worked, how each dish is meant to look things just fell into place. The next few weeks will hopefully get easier and better. I am exhausted as the hours aren't very friendly but I did chose this career so I have no one to blame but myself.

There's no real rhyme or reason to this post but for your sake, I hope it makes some sense.

Psalm 139

2006-07-08T22:45:00.000+12:00

Currently at cell group we are doing a series on Friendship. A couple of weeks back we were looking at love and the role it plays in friendship.

Of course we discussed the role love played in our social friendships but what about our friendship with God? How often do we think of that relationship as a friendship? Well, one of the exercises we had to do was to rewrite Psalm 139 in our own words. So here's mine:

Psalm 139
You know me inside and out,
Each move, each step,
Each word, each thought,
You know it all.

You are apart of all my life,
Cherishing the good moments,
Learning from the bad.
All of it, part of Your great plan.

Imperfections are part of me too,
Your patience abundant and evident,
As I endeavour to be more like You,
So others may see You.

Created so beautifully in Your image,
How can others not see You?
My daily prayer,
For Your glory to be revealed
In due time.

Cool Kids Cooking

2006-07-07T15:10:00.000+12:00

So there is a new cooking program for kids coming to town. When? I don't know...

Today I went for an audition to co-host this cooking program by Top Shelf Productions. The co-host will be working along side Master Chef Marco Kouch teaching kids age 8-12yrs how to cook healthy meals. I'm not quite sure why I agreed to it coz being on tv was never something I saw myself doing. My dreams were and still are to have my own restaurant; maybe have a little cooking school out the back but essentially something to call my own.

But I guess, if I do get the job it would be fantastic exposure. I'm at the stage of my career where if I'm able to be seen, fantastic! Being in an industry where it's not what you know but who you know, every chance I get to be with people that can get me work whether it be directly or indirectly, I have to take that opportunity.

It was interesting to say the least. I won't know for a couple of weeks whether or not I get the job but it was a good experience. This is one of the few things where it really doesn't bother me if I get it or not. It was done for a bit of fun...

We'll see. But I'll let you know when I know!

As promised...

2006-06-29T18:10:00.000+12:00

So Jonathan made me promise that I'd post when I found out whether or not I made it to Wellington for Nationals.

I MADE IT!

While in the Thermal Village in Rotorua today, I received a much unexpected call to say that I made the cut for the Auckland team. My marks from Regionals SkillEx a couple of weekends back where high enough that I got in...

I'm so stoked. It was nice to win the spot fair and square rather than by default (which is what would have happened if I lost Regionals coz everyone else was too old to qualify for Wellington).

Change of scenery

2006-06-26T14:29:00.000+12:00

It's been a week now that I've had Kath over. We've been having a great time together. The first weekend she was here was pretty low key.

On Saturday, she arrived and we got chow shopping done. Then Sunday, it was church @ 10am, Juanita's bridal shower and then chow duty at nite. I know...I'm mean, putting her to work. She liked it. Then Monday we just bummed round, didn't do much. Tuesday, took a drive up to Long Bay and then dinner at the Coomes'. It was beautiful! Then Wednesday, was just a day spent walking round Botany window shopping. Thursday, sent mom off for a month long tour around Russia & Europe. Then it was an expensive excursion to Sabato, NZ Winemakers & Auckland Fish Market at dad's expense. Friday, Kath got to hang out with some girls from church as they spoilt me with food, wine and their company. It was in celebration of me finishing uni. Then Saturday was the Magic Box competition, Regionals for Auckland. I'm very pleased to say that I won that fair and square! Still not sure if I made it to Wellington yet but will prob find out within the week. Sunday rolled round again and it was church @ 10am, a little excursion to check out the possible new place for cession and then cession at nite. Kath is at the museum today while I was at Sky City getting all badged up and measured up, ready to start work in a few weeks time.

It's been a great week so far. And I have been rather well behaved in the "working" dept too. I am yet to have the urge to start work. So I'm doing well. Not saying that I'm dreading starting but normally, I'd be yearning to start work after 2 days of holiday...

The rest of the week entails home group with choc fondue, a day trip to Rotorua with the girls & church. And Kath's last week here will include a trip to Waiheke & dinner at my place with some friends.

Looking forward to dinner...it means I get to cook!!! (I know I am crazy)

Marks, photos, competition

2006-06-20T10:04:00.000+12:00

So headed into uni yesterday to get marks and have a break up lunch with class. I know there are some who want to know what I got so here it is...77% for the Final Menu & 85% for theory. And here are photos of my dishes:

Foccacia

Venison Consomme

Salmon Kerabu

Poussin Poele with Herbed Rice, Butter tossed Green Beans & Char Grilled Capsicum

Sorry...That's all I could get up on the blog. It wouldn't load on the dessert photo so that's it. You can imagine what it looked like or ask the Jones'.

So now that all that is over I thought that was that but NO! I managed to rope myself in for a competition which is happening this Saturday. If anyone would like to come watch, it's at AUT Wellesley campus, H Block, Level 3, Kitchen 3 from 9-2.30pm.

She's here!

2006-06-17T09:19:00.000+12:00

The day that my good friend, Katherine, comes has arrived! She arrives in Auckland @12.45pm later today and will be spending exactly 3 weeks here.

It's been an extremely long and frustrating week, at times, but now that Kath is here and I get to hang out with her...it's all good!

I'm looking forward to the great time that I know we'll have-traveling, meeting my friends (though I don't know how much she'll like me after that. No offence, guys...I love you but we're all a little insane) & just chilling. This will be a break that I will not regret and definitely enjoy.

Food glorious food....

2006-06-15T15:49:00.000+12:00

While chatting with an old friend of mine today, he sent me a link to this blog. If you are a foodie/chef/lover of all things edible, I urge you to check it out. It's good! You'll see what I mean when you head over there. I'm gonna be adding it to my blog links! Bon Apetit...

The Ass Pastor and her wife got me drunk!

2006-06-15T07:45:00.000+12:00

No, they didn't! I was just being silly...But we did have quite a lot to drink last nite.

So it is that time of my life which I have been dreading and looking forward to for a while now. I don't have assignments to worry about anymore, Final Menu over and done with and only 1 more theory assessment to go before I am officially finished with uni.

I have truly enjoyed my 2 years at uni and am so grateful to have been able to study something I have so much love for. The 2 years has had it's trial and tribulations but it's also been filled with much fun and joy. As I finish up at AUT, I now head into the "real world".

There are various aspects of the industry that scare the living daylights outta me but I guess the unknown is part of life (kinda sucks, but oh well). I am looking forward to starting work though. It should be a good many years to come with more learning to be done. Here's to a great job (it seems like it for now), a fab 2 years of uni and blessed friends.

Yesterday, was probably one of the best days of my life...But let me start from the beginning.

The week started off badly with a massive power cut to a lot of the Auckland region. This resulted in horrid traffic, people stuck in lifts, boredom etc etc etc ( I think you get the picture). And this also meant that the first group of my class that had their assessment on Monday was greeted with a lovely surprise! They rocked up at 6am to start their assessment and basically couldn't go on and we all got sent home.

As a result of that, everyone's assessment day was shuffled along a day. So those who were on Monday came back on Tuesday and those on Tuesday had to come on Wednesday. I was in the group that was originally on Tuesday. Everything was planned-I was mentally prepared to have my assessment on Tuesday, Melissa & Jacob were gonna come for lunch and it would all work out just fine.

But NO! God must have a funny sense of humour but I was not impressed...Anyway, Melissa & Jacob couldn't make lunch on Wednesday (nothing we could do about that) and so the Jones' benefited from the power cut. So they came for lunch instead.

(I had a hard time choosing who to ask when I had to ask so please don't be offended if I didn't ask you or if you are the Jones' and felt like you were second choice....)

The good thing about Melissa & Jacob not coming was that we got to hang out last nite. Melissa made dinner (and boy, was it gooooooooood) and we had celebratory drinks til late. I was SO spoilt. However, if they had come for lunch on Tuesday we weren't gonna hang out last nite. So, maybe it worked out anyway-I got to have the Jones' for lunch AND hang out with Melissa, Jacob, Melva (& Frank).

If you thought that was all the excitement, WRONG! I arrived home to a beautiful congratulatory bouquet from the Coomes'.

All I can say to everyone is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...........for spoiling me, your well wishes, prayers, presence and most importantly for being my friends. I couldn't have asked for a better bunch of people to call my friends!

An act of spontaneity

2006-06-09T23:57:00.000+12:00

Most of you would know that I function on a rather organised and planned schedule. I feel best when I have things planned yonks in advance. My diary is filled with everything that I'm involved in; uni, church, work, church, gym, meetings, homework, lecture rooms, kitchens.

In order to battle my neurotic perfectionism, Melissa set Sarah an ongoing mission to help me to learn to be spontaneous. This has been rather stressful...

We, being Sarah and I, had our first spontaneous adventure a few Sundays ago and it was alright considering the circumstances. I was rather frazzled and high strung by the end of it though. Anyhow, I am very pleased to inform you that on my own I succeeded getting through a spontaneous event.

Rachel txted me earlier today and asked if I wanted to join her for dinner at the Coomes' and I said yes! I was told only to bring myself. Normally I'd ignore that and still make something or bring a bottle of something but tonite I resisted and followed instructions. I only brought myself! No stress, nothing (well, kinda a small lie). I had a good time. It was also nice catching up with Rachel. It had been a while since I last saw her so it was nice. Thanx Rachel...

And Melissa & Sarah, you should be proud of me. I didn't even need you to hassle me this time.

Final Menu

2006-06-08T22:42:00.000+12:00

The much talked about Final Menu Assessment in fast approaching. June 13, to be exact.

Last Sunday, I had the Coomes' over for dinner. I had my first practice of my final menu on them. It didn't go all that well but I'm glad I did that practice. I was able to find out where I needed to fix things and better them in order to get as many marks as I possibly can.

Tonite, I had a second practice at uni. Again, glad I had another practice. Still there were some things for me to watch out for and change to make it better. In general, I feel a little better about next week. Still nervous and don't see myself sleeping next Monday but there is a small sense of calm and peace within.

Just to tantalize your taste buds, here is my menu...

Bread

Foccacia

Starter

Venison Consomme

Entree

Crispy Skin Salmon Kerabu Salad

Main

Poussin Poele served with Coriander Rice, Butter tossed Green Beans & Chargrilled Red Capsicum

Dessert

Individual Lemon Curd Tart accompanied with Vanilla Ice Cream & Berry Coulis

Teacher's pet?

2006-06-08T22:34:00.000+12:00

Yesterday I was asked by my lecturer to participate in a Magic Box cook off in 2 weeks time. It is a competition where if you win, you will represent Auckland in a competition later in the year in Wellington.

I was a little apprehensive about it but eventually said yes. Crazy, I know! What have I got myself into?!!!

Well, I have gained my lecturer's respect that he asked me and no one else in the class to compete. If I win, I get one on one coaching from him. And I see this as an amazing opportunity. He is giving me his time even though I won't be his student anymore after next week. And also, it'll look fab on my CV.

But again, I find myself asking, "Why me? What is it in me that he sees that is worth him giving up his time?".

Streams of consciousness

2006-06-08T22:19:00.000+12:00

Every person has an internal sensor that tells them what they should/shouldn't say, what they should/shouldn't think, when they should/shouldn't do something etc etc. For most, this sensor is rather normal; when I say normal I mean that the sensor works but is not too overly active or inactive. So, you could probably say that most of the time these people are fairly rational thinkers.

However, when you are a perfectionist combined with the environment/culture that I've grown up in you get a person whose sensor works overtime. The sensor over thinks things. A million things run through your head and the sensor filters through these thoughts and puts them in the should or shouldn't category. And you'll find that the shouldn't list is generally significantly longer.

Being in this current stage of searching and wondering, learning to except God's grace, it has been "suggested" that I start this little task called Stream of Consciousness Writing. It is when you set a time limit, sit down with pen and paper (or in my case, a password locked Word document) and just put pen to paper the thoughts running through your head for that set period of time. And you are not to reread what you written for at least 3-4 weeks.

The idea of this is so I learn to be more honest with myself and God. To learn to trust. To learn to turn off that internal sensor when it's just God and me. After all, He knows what I'm thinking already so I'd might as well tell Him.

I've been warned that I'll hate it (and I can see myself hating it already) but apparently it's good for me. I'm yet to start but will endeavour to have done it at least once before Kath gets here. I'll let you know how I went after my first session.

Some things to smile about

2006-06-03T16:00:00.000+12:00

This weekend is when everyone is away but Jean is left alone.....

Most cessionites are away at the annual Queen's B'day Weekend Convention but I had to work so I am stuck in Auckland on my own. Kinda bored and lonely but it hasn't all been bad.

This week was the week of my Magic Box assessment. Since I was rather worried about it, I asked the Powell's & Ritchie's if they minded being guinea pigs. So on Wednesday, they had to endure my cooking. Wasn't the best meal but I guess it was alright. You'll have to ask them if you wanna know what dinner was like...

I had the assessment on Thursday and came VERY close to having to resit! Thank goodness I didn't. I passed with 74%. Not great at all but at least I didn't have to do a resit (most in the class had to). Just to share with you what I made....here are photos.

Entree: Polenta Crusted Hapuka with Potato Salad.

Main: Pan Seared Honey & Lemon Pork Fillet with Pilaf, Chargrilled Courgette, Roasted Mushroom, Tamarillo/Tomato Chutney

So that's 2 things, so far, to smile about; a group of such willing guinea pigs. They said yes without knowing what they were getting themselves into! And passing my Magic Box assessment.

I worked my last shift at Celsius today. Woohoo!!! I'm so glad to be outta there. We just recently had a new head chef, Emily, that took up the job and she's not a very pleasant person. Sooner or later I was gonna leave anyway but she basically decided for me how soon I was leaving. I will miss the other colleagues, though. Anyhow, that's thing number 3 to smile about.

13 days (and counting) til Katherine arrives.......I'm getting more and more excited as the number of days decrease. Thing number 4 to smile about.

Last but not least, I HAVE A JOB! It's official, I will be working at Sky City. After my interview on Tuesday with my previous Sous Chef, reference checks were done and yesterday I received the much awaited call. Hossein called me and asked me pick up my contract from him. This is definitely an answered prayer. It reminded me of Melissa's message from a few weeks back; to have faith is to know that your prayer will be answered but don't expect the prayer to be answered in the specific way you want it to.

Working in a hotel has been my prayer since day one of starting this course and choosing this career path. The way I saw it (and still do) is that being in a hotel is the best way to travel the world. So with every ad for a hotel, I submitted an application but everytime it was declined. It was disappointing but what can you do. I resorted to working at various other places like Smokeys, Celsius, filling in at Willow Park etc etc.

Little did I know of His sneeky plan...I now have a job at Sky City! This news was what put the biggest smile on my face this weekend. Thanx Father.

cession|cuisine?

2006-06-01T09:23:00.000+12:00

So Melissa thought this would be a brilliant idea....

She was reading her much treasured Cuisine magazine and came across this article where a bunch of ladies who subscribe to Cuisine get together on a regular basis and try out new recipes from every issue. Last nite while having dinner at their place, Melissa ran the idea pass me and I said, "COOL! It would be awesome...".

This could be the birth of a new ministry Brett.....cessioncuisine. Where a whole bunch of us foodies who love food, love to cook and just love chilling out can do something all together. (We could even include some wine matching too...Jacob very sneekily slipped that in). You don't necessaily have to subscribe to Cuisine-you could use a recipe from a favourite cookbook.

It would be such a cool invite opportunity too. As we were getting all excited about this idea, we were already running through lists of people we could invite.

*Sorry if you wanted to be the first one to get this out Melissa, but I was so excited I had to blog about it...(Do you like the name? I thought it's pretty cool...) :)

A gastronomic tour

2006-06-01T08:30:00.000+12:00

I was checking out the The Age's Epicure site and found this article. It managed to capture exactly why I love Melbourne so much...Check it out.

I hope you were salivating as much as I was. MMmmmm

As I continued my routine check of the Epicure, I found a rather amusing
article. You may find this quite a musing too....Maybe even a little more conscious about these things when you next go out for a meal.

Oh the joys of food. Who would have thought that there are so many things to consider when you go out for a meal or go out to the shops to get some ingredient for tonite's dinner...?

As an artist that finds pleasure in art-the different strokes of each brush, the finite details of each picture that has been captured on a canvas. I find great joy in discovering every element of every dish-when it arrives at the table the eye appeal and smell are the first to capture my attention. Then with each mouthful, I search for balance in flavour, texture/mouth feel; trying to pick out every possible flavouring put in the dish to create such a harmonious combination.

Call me crazy but I'm just so excited at the prospect of having the opportunity to knit such pleasures for the enjoyment of others. With each experiment, I want for it to get better and better in hopes of reaching perfection. (But coz perfection is unattainable, the process will be never ending...that is the cool part!!!)

Smile!

2006-05-27T15:54:00.000+12:00

Apparently I don't smile enough! The other day, I overheard Jonathan say to Melissa that he never sees me smile on Sundays....And I thought, "That's true. But Sunday's can get a little stressful and my mind isn't really on smiling but more, I need to get things done. Also, it's not like I don't smile normally". Anyway, I took it into account and for one of my goals for my last performance evaluation (Melissa makes me fill out performance evaluations after each nite I am on chow duty) I put down SMILE. And I did try to smile through out the nite. It didn't last for long but I did try. Then a few days later, I was in my practical class and another lecturer that I know walked in. He started talking to my current lecturer and then stopped, looked at me and said, "Jean, smile....".

So, I came to the conclusion that maybe I tend to get my knickers in a knot just a bit too much and smiling may be kinda necessary. I've been real conscious about how much I smile lately and I'm trying. However, a lot of the time it's not coz I'm not happy or worried, I'm just concentrating. When I was in class, that's exactly what it was...concentrating on what I was doing. But I will keep trying. I know I have enough people around to make sure I keep at it. :)

Something to definitely smile about is the fact that I have finished and handed in my last official assignment ever! I hate assignments and sure as hell hated that last one too. So I'm absolutely stoked to have finished it. I can't wait to have assessments over and done with too...I do prefer assessments/exams over assignments but the stress of wanting A+s is a bit much. Having said that, even though I am worried about my up coming practical assessments, they should be fun. I'm especially looking forward to the 4 people I'm having as my guest for my Final Menu assessment. But first, I do have to practice so I don't stuff up on the day. So I'm having some friends, who have kindly obliged to being guinea pigs, over for dinner next weekend. Should be fun...

Also, with the weeks of uni slowly diminishing from weeks to days, it means that Katherine is due in NZ soon. I'm so looking forward to her coming. We caught up over the phone the other day and it was just so exciting to know that I'm finally gonna see her again....I can't explain the excitement. It just can't be put into words but yea, I'm really looking forward to it and I know she is too. You counting down the days yet, Kath? I am!

A sprinkle of this & a dash of that

2006-05-23T21:07:00.001+12:00

This post isn't about anything in particular but a little bit of everything that has been going on for the past week. There's been so much that has happened I just need to process it before I explode.

The pass few weeks have been rather stressful; a combination of finishing up at uni, ministry work load, work and dealing with people. This got me thinking..."Why have I been placed in a position where I am constantly having to deal with people, beit good or bad?". Of course this is mainly centered around chow but it does flow over to the other areas of my life.

Being the chow leader, I am always having to recruit people, confront people. encouraging people, being nice to people, welcoming people etc etc etc and the list goes on. It revolves around people. In the wider scheme of things, the cooking part of chow is like 5% of what chow is about.

And I am far from being a 'people person'. I am extremely introverted and a real perfectionist. People and me just don't add up. I hate going up to someone I don't know and introducing myself. I hate being in a large group when I don't know people (sometimes even if I do know the people I still hate it). I avoid conflict where possible, which means even if people piss me off I don't say anything. I just keep it to myself and stew. And if there happens to be a blow up, I just leave it and avoid ever trying to confront the party(s) involve at all cost.

So why am I a leader? What did Juanita see in me? What did Brett see in me?

Don't get me wrong. I love being able to be in ministry. I have always wanted to be part of ministry but was never given that opportunity. I was always told that I'm not worth it, I'm not good enough. So I am very honoured to have been asked to take up this role, even though at times it's hard.

Again, why am I in a 'people role' when I hate dealing with people? I don't know. Maybe you have some input on this matter......Do share.

On another note, we were in week 3 of our current series on Sunday. Melissa talked about how when God decides to answer your prayers, sometimes it comes in small things or in bits and pieces. But sometimes it comes as something extravagant, like the parting of the Red Sea. While we are waiting, all we need to do is be still. Hard, I know! I'll be the first to admit that. I am always wanting things right there and then. Not just now, not later but NOW! But actually, what I need to be doing is to be still.

She went on to talk about manna. (See Jonathan's blog for a definition of manna). So what is my manna? What are the little things that I hang on to as I go about each day? What are you grateful for?

Each day, I am exceptionally grateful for the friends I have. The true friends. The ones that I know will miss me, the ones that I share pain and joy together, the ones that love me for who I am-the imperfections and all (I know...I said it!). I have always found it hard to gain friends let alone good & great friends. But I now have some and feel very blessed to have them as part of my life. (It is a bummer though, that they are everywhere-USA, NZ, Australia. If only I could have them all in the one place....)

I am also appreciative of the fact that I have been able to study in the field that I have so much passion for. How many people do you know that are in courses that they hate? And they are there coz their parents said they had to? I'm glad I was able to find a course that I would enjoy ploughing through, even though I had to leave my favourite city.

For those that have been keeping up with the blog, you'd know that I am finishing up at uni in about 2 1/2 weeks and so I am looking for work. About the end of last week, I put in 3 applications over the internet through Seek. I wasn't expecting anything coz I have put a few applications in through Seek before but to no avail. But I thought it was still worth a try; if I didn't get anything then at least I tried but if I got something then sweet.

Well, to my absolute surprise I got calls, today, from 2 of the 3 places I applied to but I only managed to pick up one of the calls. So I have my first interview on Thursday @ 3pm. It's a new hotel that's opening in Auckland city on Waterloo Quadrant. It doesn't have a name yet...But another cool thing was that my old head chef that left Celsius about 3 months ago called me up later in the day too. There's an opening for a commi and so we'll see where that goes. He's at Sky City and I meet him on Tuesday @ 2.30pm.

So doors seem to be opening for me...Hopefully at least one stays open. I'll keep you posted.

Today is Sarah's 21st b'day. Happy Birthday Sas! I had 2 parts to her present. One of it was dinner at Portofino's Mission Bay. The other part to her present was a surprise that I organised about 2 weeks prior to dinner last nite. I had organised to have the cell group meet us at Portofino's to surprise Sarah and it was good! We had a blast and I'm so glad I didn't let the surprise slip. (I'm like the worse liar ever!)

I have finally managed to crack my lecturer. What I mean by that is that whenever I present my food to him, there are no more complaints. Only good comments and the occasional productive criticism. You don't understand how much relief I felt when I brought up my entree for my Magic Box practice last Thursday. I was the first one up there and was crapping in my pants with a million guesses of what he was gonna say bout my dish. But he surprised me by saying, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with this dish at all. Well done." I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that. And it's now the third day in a row that I've managed to not have him tell me off. If I keep this up, all my assessments are looking good. But I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I still need to pass before I can gloat!

So as you can tell, there's been a lot happening and I had to get it out somehow. (I hate writing and prefer typing so it came out here).

Drowning

2006-05-17T23:57:00.000+12:00

I went to my first ever Human Rights Film Festival movie, Drowned Out, tonite with the Powell's, Ritchie's & Read's.

This movie highlighted an issue that not many of us in the developed world know about. It's about the dams that have been & are being built on the River Narmada in India and how the lives of so many are affected by this seemingly well intentioned project. (In my very humble opinion, this project is centered around ego, pride, greed, supposed honour & glory for the nation.)

For dams to be built, all living along the river are affected. Those living up stream loose their land, livelihood, homes etc due to flooding. Those down stream loose the same due to 'drought'. These people are not compensated appropriately, either offered resettlement land that is measly in comparison to what they had or cash, which is of not much use to them because they depend on the land. Some are driven to the city to survive and end up living in slumps on the outskirts of the city earning next to nothing and just barely surviving and others end up dying defending their land by refusing to leave.

When the villager make the tiring journey to the nearest township to try and get answers or fight for their land, there is little luck. The official has either been transferred, sacked, replaced, not around. Either way the journey was for nothing.

This is still an on going issue. For regular updates, click here.

For me, this is nothing new; all the political bullshit, empty promises. I grew up in a country that had all of that. And that is one of the many reasons why my parents decided to relocate to a better, fairer country. But I was still frustrated and pissed off.

Why is it ok for the poor to suffer in order for the rich to live 'better' lives but not ok when the equation is the other way round? Why is there so much hypocrisy? So much greed? So much pride? WHY?

A version of The Lord's Prayer

2006-05-12T23:10:00.000+12:00

This prayer comes from Chp 12 of Richard Winter's Perfecting Ourselves to Death. It was written by some student of Richard's when he was giving a lecture on perfectionism.

The Perfectionist's Prayer

Their Father, who may be in Heaven,
Holy be my name.
My kingdom come,
My will be done,
In earth as it should be in Heaven.
I'll get my own daily bread,
(I can't trust you to do it)
but I can't possibly forgive my sins
As there are too many of them,
And they are always bound to happen.
And I can't see why I should forgive other people
As they are always hurting me.
And anyway they never do anything right.
I'm quite capable of leading myself into evil
Thank you very much.
And if you had made a good job of this world
In the first place, I wouldn't have to
Endure all the temptation.
Mine be the kingdom,
The power and the glory,
Forever and ever,
Amen.

When I first read it, I found it rather amusing. And as Melissa and I had our discussion about the book, we had a good laugh together, too. In my world, a lot of that prayer is true. Crazy as it is, that is how I am wired.

It's kinda hard for me to put this post up coz I don't trust people and therefore, never tell others how I'm doing and what's going on (esp those close to me). But I can't talk to anyone at home and I need to get this off my chest. So I'm taking a huge risk by putting this on the blog for the world to read. I just ask that you be patient with me, please.

Anyhow, this pass few weeks have been an absolute nightmare for me. Uni is getting more and more stressful (people and work load), life at home is getting really tense (there's some tension between mom and dad but I don't know what's going on, Ian decided to piss my parents off by not doing well in his studies and mom & Ian are really grating on me), work is a load of nonsense & waste of time (we've got a new head chef who is a total pain in the rear) and there's some crap happening within chow (people, AGAIN!). So there's quite a bit going on around me at the moment and it's taking a huge toll on me. I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained...So much so that I've had my face in my hands for the past week while trying to get to bed.

I feel so helpless...

Last nite I had a little chat (over gmail) with Juanita and she suggested that I spend a few minutes with God, surrendering all aspects of my life to Him and wait for His peace to wash over me. I wanted, so much, to sincerely give it up to Him and honestly say, "Father, I trust you in the situation of uncertainty, hurt, anger, absolute shit (excuse the language but that's how I feel) and that in time it will be better", but I couldn't. I just couldn't. It's that whole trust issue I have with others, God included. And as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't. And I didn't want to say, "Here, I trust you" when I knew in my heart that I didn't.

So where do I go from here? The coming weeks aren't gonna get any better. I only see it getting worse, at least until I sit my finals. I really, really want to say that I can leave it up to Him, trust Him that His plan is good and perfect but I just can't.

Syair

2006-05-09T09:50:00.000+12:00

Dunia ini tiada yang tentu
Ingin mendengar suaraMu
Walaupun tarafMu tidak dicapai
Masih diiktiraf anak Tuhan

Re:sharpening the barbaric edge

2006-05-08T20:36:00.000+12:00

At leadership training last Saturday, we revisited the dvd on Ewan McManus (I think that's how you spell his name) on being a barbarian. At this point in time you may think, "WHAT THE...?!"

Rewind back to the time when you first accepted Christ or when you first decided you wanted to start getting serious about your relationship with God...Remember the straight up, no nonsense bible bashing? The invites to church, youth group, cell group? And the list goes on.

But as time went by, along with the many rejections and the comfort of feeling more like you are part of the community, your "barbarian self" starts to mellow out and you become a little more careful about what you say and how you say it. You tend to avoid the subject of church or God with non-Christian friends. You almost lead a double life-the edge dulls.

During our time of discussion, we had a time where we brain stormed our thoughts about the dvd, how civilized we've become and what can you do to become more barbaric. One thing that struck me most was when Melva pointed out that we have an issue with "cliques" within the community. This is nothing new-it happens everywhere and at every church too.

I was quite pleased that someone brought it up coz it's something I've noticed for quite a while and it also meant that I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was and I wasn't just making all this up in my head.. Being someone who's always been left out I noticed these things very quickly. However, being a perfectionist also means that I can be a little paranoid and often imagine situations that aren't real. So I didn't say anything to anyone about the possibility of cession falling into the trap of being too "clique-ky". (Not cool, I know).

Something I thought was SO cool last nite during dinner was the many leaders sitting at different tables with different people. I just found it such a beautiful sight especially since we only had 9 leaders as training. Funny how it kinda just happened...and Rebecca noticed it. Cool stuff!

I'll admit that I'm not very good at it myself coz I'm not a people person but as a leader, I have to lead by example. Therefore, it's something I have to keep working on. I don't think I'll ever be good at it or enjoy it as much as someone like Brett or Frank (sorry...don't mean to put you on the spot but you guys are good) but I'll endeavour to not hate it as much. I'm counting on you to keep me accountable, Sarah.

Moses' life...My life?

2006-05-08T19:35:00.000+12:00

So we've started a new series...

We're working through the story of Moses and how, as an ordinary man, he was chosen to perform some extraordinary feats. The first installment covered the beginning of Moses' life til the 40 years he spent in the dessert.

As we approached a time of reflection, we were asked to re-examine our lives and where we are at. Are you in a sweet spot? If you are, maybe you need to be shaken back into a spot of tension or maybe you've just worked through some hard stuff and am enjoying that experience. Have you made some bad decisions? Or a series of them?

Where do you see yourself at the moment? Where are you at?

I guess for me, I'm at the stage of my life where everything is about to change. I'm finishing uni in 5 weeks and then I'll be out in the real world, fending for myself. There will be many decisions and choices to make and that scares the living daylights outta me. Being the perfectionist that I am, I don't handle decisions or choices well and I'm afraid that the decisions I make will not be the right ones.

Being adamant about staying in Melb after I finished school was a bad choice (I didn't wanna admit that at the time but it was a bad move) and since then, everytime there's a big decision to be made I have the image of the suck time I had in Melb on a constant replay in my head. It would be easy to say that I'm just being stupid and paranoid, and that may be very true to a certain extent, but I can't help it. I live in this constant tension of having to make a decision and worrying about whether or not I'm making a right decision and whether or not I'm gonna regret the choice I made.

I can't tell you now what my life will be like in 5 weeks, what I'll be doing and where I'll be working, but I hope that before those weeks are up I would've some idea of what's gonna happen after I'm back from my little holiday.

So I hope that this post has prompted you to re-examine where you are currently at in you life and if there's anything you to do to get your life back on the right path. This is something that we need to do on a regular basis yet we struggle to do it...

The end is in sight. Scary or Exciting?

2006-05-03T22:28:00.000+12:00

I'm constantly being asked and asking myself that question...And the truth is I really don't know. I'm excited that in 5 1/2 weeks my life will no longer consist of assignments, due dates, practical & theory assessments, final menus, costings etc etc etc. And the sooner I finish the sooner I get to see Kath. If her exams work out the way we want it to, we'll have 3 whole weeks together.

But at the same time, I am totally freaking out that I will no longer have the comfort of being in a controlled, protected environment. Besides that, I am in this state of not knowing what I'm gonna do when I'm finished. Granted, I will be working. But where, for whom, how much? I don't know.

So what's Jean's life like for the remaining 5 1/2 weeks? Well, next week will be the first practice for our Magic Box assessment (it's kinda like Ready Steady Cook, except we have 4 hrs). The following week, we'll have the second practice for the Magic Box and final menu costings & requisitions due in. Week 4 is the actual Magic Box assessment, week 5 is the City & Guilds exam & week 6 is my final menu assessment.

It's absolute mentalness with uni for the next little while tied in with church, ministry and work. I don't know how much I'll be posting for the next few weeks but we'll see. I'll try and stay as sane as possible and not drive others around me insane while I'm at it!

Gifts

2006-05-02T13:03:00.000+12:00

Last nite at cell group we started off with answering 2 questions:

How have you seen God in the past 2 weeks?
What is one gift that you wish you had?

My answers:

Through the friends I have. Having dinner 2 Wednesdays ago with the Powell's, Jones', Sarah & Ju was so much fun. It was nice to just chill and hang out over a casual dinner and just talk about whatever we wanted. No stress of work, life, everything just forgotten for those few hours. And on Sunday, Sarah very patiently organised a cessioncommunity banquet so that Jean and the rest of the chow team would have a nite off.
Be able to play an instrument on the worship team. I love singing on the team with the others but the one thing that I have yearned for for a long time now is to be able to play and instrument.

At the end of the nite, Kristen asked, "Why do you think we have these longings for what we don't have?". And this was Rebecca's answer, "Our longings may be something that we will eventually be gifted with but we are not ready for it yet". Kristen also had a take on it: "For me, sometimes it's pride".

There are definitely many sides to this issue and I guess we have to constantly re-examine our wants and needs and whether or not they line up with God's plans.

The greatest gift of all...

2006-04-23T20:53:00.000+12:00

I'm currently on a 2 week holiday, well kinda. I'm off uni but still running around keeping myself busy so I don't get bored. One of the things I did to keep myself out of trouble is to have some friends that are very dear to me over for a nice casual dinner last Wednesday.

We had a blast; I did anyway, even if they didn't! So thanx for putting up with me guys, I hope bribing you with food was enough. As I promised my lovely Melissa, here are some photos from that nite. She apparently wants these to hassle Frank...I'm just looking forward to hearing all that went on.

Bread & dips to start of the nite. I made a thin, crisp foccacia studded with garlic, rosemary, olives & sea salt. It was served with homemade pesto & olive tapenade.

A cheese board that accompanied bread & dips. The platter consisted of a Double Cream Brie, Kikorangi (a NZ blue for those not living in NZ) & a cheddar.

The Lot! (For nibbles that is...). I'm not that mean to only serve my guest cheese & bread for dinner.

Homemade venison burgers. A venison pattie, a slice of tomato, a piece of cos lettuce sandwiched between 2 slices of toasted baguette. Dad just had to top it off with some good ole tomato sauce...at Jacob's request

Miniature Nicoise Salad, consisting is tomato concasse, beans, hard boiled egg, seared tuna, olives & anchovies all topped with a vinaigrette.

Homemade orange ice cream topped with praline. No skimping on taste (& calories) here-this was made with cream & egg yolks!

This is all I have....I don't have pictures of the other dishes coz they got eaten before I got round to taking photos. I hope this wets your appetite a little to go out and hunt for some good nosh.

Unfortunately I couldn't invite anymore people ( the house is kinda small) but hopefully next time.

A future in writing perhaps?

2006-04-18T22:07:00.000+12:00

Our first assignment for the last semester required us to review one of the two training restaurants we have at uni. I was really proud what I produced and the results reflected it so who knows, when I am sick of kitchens I may just start writing. But in the mean time, I guess the purpose of me sharing this review with you is to let you know that there are good deals out there! So enjoy....

Restaurant review of Truffles

On Wednesday, March 22nd 2005, a group of friends and I had lunch at Truffles Restaurant. It is a training restaurant at the Auckland University of Technology. At the restaurant, the Front of House staff are either Hospitality students or Chef students completing a component of their course and kitchen staff are Chef students at various stages of their course.

With the high number of different classes using the production kitchen, the menu is ever-changing with each menu lasting for about 4-5 weeks. Each menu, though small is well thought out with meat, poultry, seafood and vegetarian dishes and taking the different seasons into consideration. For each course one has a choice from four different dishes, all sounding absolutely delicious. This menu was the first for the year so it was mainly decked out with summer ingredients with a few autumn touches.

For entrée, there was a choice of an antipasto platter, a country style terrine, chilli squid or goats cheese with beetroot. I went with the antipasto platter. Not many restaurants serve up antipasto platters anymore so I was pleased to see it on this menu. The dish consisted of various cold meats such as salami, ham and smoked salmon. These were accompanied by cheeses such as bocconccini(buffalo mozzarella), goats’ cheese camembert and blue cheese. The platter was topped off with a slow roasted tomato, a few slices of toast and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar and olive oil. When I was served my meal, it was stunning. The range of colours was eye-catching and the taste was phenomenal. It was a great start to the meal.

There was a choice of either roasted hapuka, chicken with parpadelle, chermoula marinated lamb or a mushroom tart for mains. I decided to go with the chicken. Safe option, I know, but I didn’t feel like anything else. It was just one of those days. So, what was it like? Another eye appealing dish. A well browned chicken thigh sitting on a bed of well cooked homemade parpadelle served with green beans and slow roasted tomato. Overall this dish was good. However, I was rather disappointed with how the beans were cooked. It was just a tad over done for me. I personally like my beans with a slight crunch but these were on the mushy side. The chicken, though well cooked, I found that the farce had a little too much liver.

Time for dessert! I had a hard time deciding what I was going to have. The choices were all so appealing-a trio of ice cream/sorbet with summer fruits, plum pithivier, chocolate tart or caramelised peach on brioche. Eventually, being a hot day, I decided to go with the ice cream/sorbet. Each flavour of ice cream/sorbet was served on its own Chinese soup spoon, laid out on a plate garnished with rockmelon, kiwifruit and blueberries. Though the plating looked stunning, I found it rather impractical but that might just be a personal preference.

The overall service was good, taking into account that the staff are only students. However, there were some difficulties trying to get what we want due to a slight language barrier. We sensed some nervousness when we ordered a bottle of Passiler Estate Riesling as it required her to go beyond her comfort zone and probably something that she hadn’t had to yet. But the waitress did her best and there was nothing major that she did wrong. She knew what to do, and eventually we got what we asked for.

In terms of value for money, absolutely! Where else in Auckland are you able to go for a 3 course meal with good service and good food for $20 per head? Of course, being a training restaurant it won’t be perfect but for the most part there is nothing to complain about.

I hate soufflés!

2006-04-12T19:07:00.000+12:00

Today we had our pastry assessment and did it suck or what?! On the menu was:

Baked Grand Marnier Soufflé
Beignet aux Pomme (Apple Fritters) with Apricot sauce
Apple Strudel with Crème Anglaise (Custard Sauce)

I got 78% or a B+. I was not happy (the perfectionist returns!). The Strudel turned out well so I was happy with that. The Fritters were too cold and not cooked enough so I was a bit annoyed by that but the one that sucked the most was the blooming soufflé! The one thing that I didn’t have an issue with during class had to go wrong during my assessment. So anyone coming to my place for dinner, don’t expect soufflés for dessert…

My theory is that stressing actually helps with me getting good marks! Sorry Melissa, but there is nothing you can say to make me change my mind on this one. Last nite, I was actually very cool, calm and collected. I got to uni early to and still in a good state. I got into class and assembled my ingredients and I was still good. Melissa, you would have been proud. But the one time I’m not stressed or worried, I screw up! So, from now on I am continuing my stressing streak. :)

Reflections

2006-04-11T15:12:00.000+12:00

Two more chapters and I would have finally come to the end of the infamous book on perfection that I have been reading this past 5 months. No, I'm not a fast reader but neither am I a slow one! The only reason why it's taken me so long to get through 15 chapters is coz I've been under strict instructions to read only 1 chapter a week.

Anyway, currently we have just finished discussions up til chapter 11. At the end of each chapter there are some questions for reflection and when we got to the end of the chapter regarding parental influence, one of the questions required more thinking than just a few minutes of recalling past experiences. Maybe this might get you thinking, too...

How have you been influenced in positive and negative ways by your parents?

This chapter was a particularly hard one for me to get through. It brought up some bad memories that I never wish to have to bring up again. For the most part, I have grown up in a pretty good household-parents love me, taught me everything that I have needed to get me through to the age of 20 without running into trouble with the law. But there is one thing that my parents have been not very good at; they suck at giving praise and encouragement when called for. They also constantly find the one thing that is wrong out of everything that is right and harp on it for like the next goodness knows how long. Don't take this as me saying I hate my parents coz I don't.

But since reading this book on perfectionism, I've had to examine my childhood and find out what has turned me into a really bad, and I do mean extremely bad, perfectionist. So this chapter has been really good at doing that, as hard as it has been to read it. I particularly enjoyed the part on hypercritical parents. Here's a little excerpt of it...

Perfectionist parents tend to have three particularly dangerous predispositions. First, they may be intolerant of mistakes and therefore strongly critical of themselves and their children. There is no patience with genuine mistakes, and there is implied expectation of perfect behaviour. When an accident results in an attack on one's dignity and character, there is a deep sense of being a bad person and hence much shame. Second, perfectionists parents may have great difficulty showing affection and giving approval, often because they have not had much themselves. Third, perfectionist parents have a tendency to make acceptance conditional on performance or appearance.

Do you know what the scary thing is? My parents are all of the above! The one that sung out the loudest was the last statement. Coming from a culture of geeks, nerds, brainiaics (excuse the bad spelling) I couldn't really escape the expectation of doing well in school anyway but having perfectionists parents added to that. If you ask any one who knows me, they'll tell you that I'm absolutely anal about getting an A+ and nothing less. Or if it's gym, nothing less than a perfect routine every single training session and competition. Before every assessment, competition, Sunday nite (either worship or chow), I am in complete stress mode. Stressing about what? Stressing about all the possible scenarios that I may screw up, embarrass myself, how something might go wrong and what I can do to fix it etc etc etc the list goes on.

Why? Because the only time my parents would show and express their approval and love for me would be when I did something well or did something right, get an A or bring home a medal. And when I don't do well, I received endless hours of verbal abuse (at that time I didn't know what it was. I just thought it was part of punishment) from my parents saying how useless, stupid and worthless I was. So each day there was always a longing for an A or a medal or a perfect routine and it's continued to this day. These days, the abuse still happens but not as bad as it was. However, when my parents don't do it, I do it myself. The internal dialogue just takes over and goes on and on for hours in my head. Crazy, I know but often I can't help it.

So back to the question earlier in the post. My parents may have done many things that have had a bad influence on me, specifically turning me into an extremely neurotic perfectionist. But are there any good things about how I've been brought up? Well, yes. I like the fact that my parents allow Ian and me to continue living at home, rent free. They are in no hurry to kick us out, actually I think they like having us at home, they don't require us to pay rent or for any bills. Unfortunately, I have a conscience so I make sure I pay for my own shopping and part of the petrol bill. I see so many of my friends that literally get kicked out of home when they turn 18 or 21 and they can never go back. I just can't imagine not having somewhere to fall back on in times of need. I just think that would suck big time. So, as insane as my parents are, they are amazing parents and am thankful for them.